I Owe Them So Much

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Well, the first day back in the real world was a bit of a whirlwind, to say the least.

We woke up this morning to lots of snuggles and kisses with our kiddos. Before we knew it, we were headed to pick up the foster babies. The babies were so excited to see us after a fun filled week with their aunt and cousin.

We stopped by Braum's for a Father's Day breakfast. It went surprisingly well and everyone left with a full belly.

The rest of the day was spent in vacation rehab. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning. You know the drill.

And I feel like we're doing it all over again in just a few days. I guess because we are.

Thursday morning, the kids and Brian and I will head to Mexico with 60 of my sister and her fiance's friends and family. That trip will be here before I can turn around.

I loved those lazy days on the beach. Even though they aren't real, they give me perspective. {I'm pretty sure I said that a few days ago, but it's true.} I come home different.

Today was hard. Back to the routine. four kids. They had spent the week apart, so readjusting to each other was tough for them and for us. Luke didn't want to go get the babies. At least that's what he told us.

Addy said she missed them. I think they both did. But we all know they aren't ours. We all know that there is something more for them and for us.

Since I read the book The Circle Maker while lying on the beach, I have been praying the following Scripture around those babies.

 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! Isaiah 49:15
I love them and I missed them, but they were not meant to be mine. I know that. My babies know that. They are here to teach us things that we have learned through the process and things that we may not recognize or understand for years to come.

Tomorrow we head to the doctor early in the morning for an ultrasound to find out if we're welcoming a baby boy or a baby girl into our family in November. A baby that is real all thanks to those babies sleeping upstairs who aren't mine.

They made me realize the incredible bond that I have with my children. They made me want that bond again. They gave me the courage to know that we could have another one. That I was strong enough to do it.

In a very big way, I owe them so much. Sometimes I feel like the best thing I can do for them is love them and pray over them. They too were given promises that I know the Lord will follow through with. He will not forget them. I believe He has great plans for them.

.....day 310 of a year of writing.....

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