I'll take a white picket fence with a slice of imperfection on the side, please

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

One of my biggest problems is that I battle with wishing I had or did what other people have or do.

Anyone else?

I went to that networking luncheon today and I had to prep myself before walking in the door.

I knew that the house would be beautiful. I knew that the hostess would be well put together. I knew that there was a chance that jealousy would cloud my afternoon.

So I prepped myself.

I promised myself that I would not compare. I promised myself that I would not lust. Period.

And low and behold! You know what happened?! I didn't!

Yes, the house was beautiful. And yes, the hostess looked great. And yes, the food was delicious, and I felt welcomed and well cared for while there.

But while sitting in the living room with a dozen or so other women all involved in small businesses, it became so utterly clear to me that we're all just human. We're all doing our best with our circumstances, with our current situations, and regardless of how we look on the outside, there is a little side of imperfection to us all.

And it was incredibly comforting.

When we can take away the false assumption that we're going to live a life encircled by a white picket fence and acknowledge that the fence is just a false representation of an idyllic and carefree life that none of us really led, we can be free to be authentic and real with those around us.

When we pretend that the white picket fence exists in our life and everything is as it should be always, what we're really doing is making others feel less about themselves.

Look, none of us have it together. Everyone walks a tough road at some time or another, but there is a lot of freedom in remembering that we're all human.

Comparison and jealousy will kill your business, your faith, and your self esteem in an instant.

So just remember, no matter how straight and perfect the fence looks, there is a side of imperfection to all of us. And honestly, that's what I love about people. We all have a story. We all have a fear. We all have a battle to fight and a victory to win.

There is nothing wrong with a white picket fence. I just prefer mine with a side of imperfection.  


So I think it was 2 weeks ago roughly when I told you I was going to start writing again....remember that?

And I haven't done it. I'm chalking it up to having a new baby and being in a new house....and all sorts of other excuses.

The reality is, I consider myself a writer. I know that I am best at being me when I'm writing, yet I don't do it.

Today I was surprisingly and unexpectedly inspired in the strangest way.

I went to a networking luncheon, and found myself surrounded by a group of amazing women, and there was something in my heart that leapt a little.

I am usually the inspirer. I am usually the one who gives the pep talks, and encourages people, and loves on people. And today I felt encouraged in the strangest way. I really can't explain it other than it was a good feeling and a good vibe.

My soul was quietly reminded that I have more to give in the best kind of way.

I am by no means perfect nor will I ever claim to be, but I am strong and smart and good at a few good things. There are things that I love and love well. And there is more that I want to share.

So I think it's time to forgo my constant commitments to write and just start writing. Whatever it looks like, I just need to do it.

So there. I was inspired today. I was reminded today. And I remembered that I want and need to write.

So there you have it. Writing. I'm doing it. Enough said.

Behind the Scenes

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I have lately been so bombarded with the lie of perfection that I think I mentioned a few days ago.

The Lord has been working on me so much over the past week when it comes to tearing down the wall of lies built up around me concerning perfection.

Our pastor, Craig Groeschel, just wrote a new book called Altar Ego that is about becoming who God says we are. He mentioned in his 1st sermon over the book on Sunday how we are constantly comparing our "behind the scenes" to everyone else's highlight reels.

No one ever takes pictures of their dirty house to post on facebook. There are only pictures of smiling kids on instagram. From the pictures many of us post on social media, you'd think we all have it together all the time.

But this is so far from the truth. It's one of the lies the devil would like us to believe.....everyone else is perfect....you're the only one who can't get it together.

They're all lies. But we walk around believing them. We keep comparing our worst to everyone else's best. That's not fair at all.

So to combat this issue, I thought I should show you some behind the scenes.

This is my laundry room on Sunday night. Days and days worth of clothes. In my "perfect" world (the one I would post about on facebook) I would do a load of laundry a day and those clothes would get put away every night and all would be perfect inside our picket fence. Ha!

But it doesn't work that way. I do 1-2 loads a day, but they don't always get put away. That's just the reality. So instead of feel bad about it, I decided to come up with a plan that would end in a "small win" for me. A small win is something that is easily done that helps you feel better about the work you've done and the time you've invested in something. (Small wins also work great in your business, but that's a post for another day). 


My small win looks like this: Every Sunday, I know there is going to be a collection of clean clothes in the laundry room. So instead of beating myself up about the things I'm not doing every day of the week (putting away the clean clothes), I come up with a plan that allows me to win in the end.

Sunday is my zero out day. That means everything starts over at zero on Sunday. I may not get the clean laundry put away throughout the week, but I know that on Sunday I will. When it all gets put away on Sunday, it becomes a small win for me. I feel good about what I've done, and I have a fresh start to my week.

I know this sounds so simple. But I think we too often beat ourselves up about what we think we should be doing instead of searching out systems that work better for us.

I've had a long standing tradition of synching all my calendars on Sunday. You may know this from the Sunday 7 and Daily Planning posts I've made in the past. Every Sunday, I sit down and plan out all those "small wins" I want to make happen throughout the week. Every Sunday is a fresh start with a new plan and a new perspective. 

So from here on out, I'm done with the race to perfection. Instead I'm focused on those small wins that lead to larger wins that ultimately lead to a life well lived.

My small win goals this week are:
  • make the bed everyday this week
  • run 5x 
  • write 3x
  • get in God's word 5x 
  • make memories with my kids
  • love my husband
  • do today well (everyday) 
They're little things that matter so much.

Where would you like to see small wins in your life this week? Remember that small wins lead to bigger wins, and when we focus on the small wins, we eliminate the desire to reach perfection.

Screw perfection. Doing today well is all that really matters. 

It's time

Thursday, February 7, 2013

I think it's time.

I have been battling this weird pressure about writing lately. It's why I haven't written in so long.

I've been worried about what I write being good.

Since when have I cared about that?!

I think before, it was all about this pact I had with the Lord. I would write every day. No matter what. That pact took away all the pressure of being perfect (or even making sense for that matter).

Maybe I've been struggling with the lie of perfection in everything lately.

3 months post baby, I think I need my body back, and my routine back, and normalcy back. (What is normalcy anyway?)

But thanks to a good friend, I feel better tonight about the lie that perfection is.

I spoke at Spring Sprint 2 days ago, and I have not felt good about my presentation at all. I don't know why, but I got uncharacteristically nervous. Then as I was walking out on stage, the paramedics wheeled out a woman on a stretcher. (I seriously didn't know what to do!), and I just got all thrown off my speaking game.

I think I made a couple bad jokes, and then I had no good closure at all. I think I literally said something to the effects of "and that's all I have."


Come on! I'm like a champion at good closes.

I should have just closed the thing out in prayer....but ya know, we can't always be on our A game I guess.

Anyways, I just have been feeling less than great about my presentation.

And then tonight, a good friend posted on my facebook page about how impacted her team was by the presentations at Spring Sprint, and how they've been booking parties like crazy! (which is what I talked about). And I suddenly felt so much better about myself, and the words I shared, and everything else.

It's amazing to me how much impact one person's words can have.

And it made me realize, that it's time to put words on a page again.

Not because I have anything brilliant to say, but simply because I love to write.

Looking back at my year of writing, I was completely changed by the process of writing and being open to what the Lord had for our family. So I think it's time again.

Time to be open and honest and encouraging and helpful and real.

That's all I really want to do.

You may never learn how to craft on this blog. But hopefully you'll realize that there are other people out there like you with the same struggles and doubts and fears, and that when we do life together, we're a lot more powerful against all that evil that comes our way.

The lie of perfection is what keeps us closed up and afraid to share. And when we stay closed up and don't share, we start to believe that no one else understands what we're going through or that no one else has the same struggles we do. And all those things are lies.

I'm not guaranteeing you anything close to perfection in my words. Don't expect it.

But you can expect my words to be real and honest and open.

A mom, a wife, a friend, a business owner, a teacher, a student, a child of God. That's all I know how to be. And I don't do any of them perfectly, but I do all of them the best that I can.

And in these words will lie the story of them all.

It's time to begin again.....let's kill the lie of perfection together....won't you join me?

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