I think it's time.
I have been battling this weird pressure about writing lately. It's why I haven't written in so long.
I've been worried about what I write being good.
Since when have I cared about that?!
I think before, it was all about this pact I had with the Lord. I would write every day. No matter what. That pact took away all the pressure of being perfect (or even making sense for that matter).
Maybe I've been struggling with the lie of perfection in everything lately.
3 months post baby, I think I need my body back, and my routine back, and normalcy back. (What is normalcy anyway?)
But thanks to a good friend, I feel better tonight about the lie that perfection is.
I spoke at Spring Sprint 2 days ago, and I have not felt good about my presentation at all. I don't know why, but I got uncharacteristically nervous. Then as I was walking out on stage, the paramedics wheeled out a woman on a stretcher. (I seriously didn't know what to do!), and I just got all thrown off my speaking game.
I think I made a couple bad jokes, and then I had no good closure at all. I think I literally said something to the effects of "and that's all I have."
Come on! I'm like a champion at good closes.
I should have just closed the thing out in prayer....but ya know, we can't always be on our A game I guess.
Anyways, I just have been feeling less than great about my presentation.
And then tonight, a good friend posted on my facebook page about how impacted her team was by the presentations at Spring Sprint, and how they've been booking parties like crazy! (which is what I talked about). And I suddenly felt so much better about myself, and the words I shared, and everything else.
It's amazing to me how much impact one person's words can have.
And it made me realize, that it's time to put words on a page again.
Not because I have anything brilliant to say, but simply because I love to write.
Looking back at my year of writing, I was completely changed by the process of writing and being open to what the Lord had for our family. So I think it's time again.
Time to be open and honest and encouraging and helpful and real.
That's all I really want to do.
You may never learn how to craft on this blog. But hopefully you'll realize that there are other people out there like you with the same struggles and doubts and fears, and that when we do life together, we're a lot more powerful against all that evil that comes our way.
The lie of perfection is what keeps us closed up and afraid to share. And when we stay closed up and don't share, we start to believe that no one else understands what we're going through or that no one else has the same struggles we do. And all those things are lies.
I'm not guaranteeing you anything close to perfection in my words. Don't expect it.
But you can expect my words to be real and honest and open.
A mom, a wife, a friend, a business owner, a teacher, a student, a child of God. That's all I know how to be. And I don't do any of them perfectly, but I do all of them the best that I can.
And in these words will lie the story of them all.
It's time to begin again.....let's kill the lie of perfection together....won't you join me?