Ramblings about Raising a Girl

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

It turns out that raising a daughter will be more than I signed up for. True story. 

She's 6, and she's an emotional basket case. I mean, we're at the beginning stages people. Part of me wonders if I'm making the best choices for her. I know that our ultimate job as parents is to raise our children so that one day that don't need us anymore. It's an 18 year weaning process. 

There is a fine line between the helicopter parent and the healthy parent. I don't want to be the helicopter parent. I want her to make her own decisions (when it's appropriate for her to do so), I want her to be full of joy and Christ's love, and I want her to know how much we love her. 

She is strong willed and stubborn very much like both of her parents. There are days that I feel like I only see her strong willed, stubborn nature, and not her sweet spirit. I'm worried about the things she may or may not be learning on the playground.

I watch her light up when we do things to make her feel special. I showed up for lunch at her school today, and she grinned from ear to ear. We talked and shared our lunches, and it was sweet. 

There are days that I wonder if I'm making the right choices about her education, but I honestly don't know if I can realistically homeschool while running our business. I've got it down to where I work 20 hours a week max. I throw the idea around in my head from time to time wondering if I could really do it.....wondering if it would really be the best thing for her. 

Do I want to do it because I want her here and I miss her? Or do I want to do it because I think it would be the best thing for her? I honestly don't know. 

Our situation is unique. There is no doubt about that. If I were a stay at home mom, I think maybe I would do it. But I'm not. Our entire income rides on our Scentsy family business, and considering the hours I work a week, that's not too bad of a deal. 

I don't know. I don't know if I have answers or not. I'm simply toying with the idea (I really always have toyed with the idea). I don't want to do anything because it's what someone else thinks is right. I want to do things that I know are right in my soul. I'm not positive public school is it. I'm not sure if homeschool is the answer either.

I spent 2 hours today at her school making copies. I think it would have taken me 3 hours to properly homeschool her today. It's an interesting thought.

I love Addy's school and her teacher, but I just want to make sure that public education is the right choice for her.  Sorry for the ramblings tonight. It's just what my brain is thinking about.  

Anyone else ever play with the idea of homeschooling? If so, what are your reasons for considering it? I'm just curious.

8 comments:

  1. (Yea! I can comment now! haha!)

    I love that you're thinking about this so much. I know we've talked about this before so you know what I think but I wanted to address a couple of things you said. You asked if you want to do it because you want her home and you miss her or if it's best for her - can't it be both? There's a reason that you want her home, there's a reason why you miss her, and there is a reason why you feel it would be best for her - because I suspect deep down that is what you think or you wouldn't have been pondering this for the last few years. I am definitely not one of those people that thinks everyone has to homeschool their kids or that it's the only right way to educate but I do think if a parent has stirrings in their soul for it then they should follow that. I let fear rob two years of homeschooling from me but once I pushed that fear aside and jumped in, it was the best choice I ever made. I spent 13 years homeschooling my kids and I can't even begin to list out all of the blessings that brought to our family because of that choice. I will say that academically my kids have done amazing, spiritually they are very strong in their faith, emotionally they are very stable and secure in who they are. And that's just a few things. My kids are best friends and love to spend time together. They are close to James and me and enjoy spending time with us and talking to us. And I truly believe a lot of that has to do with having them home with us and training them up in the ways of the Lord.

    I don't want to write a novel here so I will cut this off but know that if you feel like you're being drawn to homeschooling that there's a really good chance that's what God wants you to do. You know I've always told you that I think you would be an amazing homeschool mom. And I really don't think your business would be a hindrance to your homeschooling - I think it would actually be a cool way to incorporate all kinds of life lessons into your homeschooling that someone without a business couldn't as easily do. A typical homeschool day doesn't take nearly as much time as a public school day does so you'd be surprised at how quickly you can get school work done and move on to just living life with your children. Because that's what it's all about - living life WITH your children. :)

    We can get together or you can call me anytime to ask anything you wish about homeschooling. Helping families begin homeschooling is one of my biggest passions. Not that I try to talk people into it if it's not for them - but when they decide it is, I love to help them start! :)

    Love you, girl! Keep praying and God will show you!

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  2. Lol! Sorry, that was a lot longer than I realized. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Did the first comment not work?? It's not showing. Weird! I will post it again - just delete the second one if something wonky is just happening! lol!

      Delete
  3. Trying the comment again...

    I love that you're thinking about this so much. I know we've talked about this before so you know what I think but I wanted to address a couple of things you said. You asked if you want to do it because you want her home and you miss her or if it's best for her - can't it be both? There's a reason that you want her home, there's a reason why you miss her, and there is a reason why you feel it would be best for her - because I suspect deep down that is what you think or you wouldn't have been pondering this for the last few years. I am definitely not one of those people that thinks everyone has to homeschool their kids or that it's the only right way to educate but I do think if a parent has stirrings in their soul for it then they should follow that. I let fear rob two years of homeschooling from me but once I pushed that fear aside and jumped in, it was the best choice I ever made. I spent 13 years homeschooling my kids and I can't even begin to list out all of the blessings that brought to our family because of that choice. I will say that academically my kids have done amazing, spiritually they are very strong in their faith, emotionally they are very stable and secure in who they are. And that's just a few things. My kids are best friends and love to spend time together. They are close to James and me and enjoy spending time with us and talking to us. And I truly believe a lot of that has to do with having them home with us and training them up in the ways of the Lord.

    I don't want to write a novel here so I will cut this off but know that if you feel like you're being drawn to homeschooling that there's a really good chance that's what God wants you to do. You know I've always told you that I think you would be an amazing homeschool mom. And I really don't think your business would be a hindrance to your homeschooling - I think it would actually be a cool way to incorporate all kinds of life lessons into your homeschooling that someone without a business couldn't as easily do. A typical homeschool day doesn't take nearly as much time as a public school day does so you'd be surprised at how quickly you can get school work done and move on to just living life with your children. Because that's what it's all about - living life WITH your children. :)

    We can get together or you can call me anytime to ask anything you wish about homeschooling. Helping families begin homeschooling is one of my biggest passions. Not that I try to talk people into it if it's not for them - but when they decide it is, I love to help them start! :)

    Love you, girl! Keep praying and God will show you!

    (By the way, I'm excited I can comment on here now! lol!)

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  4. Allison, I think Donetta said it perfectly! It is really making me re-think about the choice we made with Maddie. :) I am going to have to stew on this one and continue to pray about it. Because I have been thinking about homeschooling since Ryan was in 6th grade. Yikes! I have had these thoughts and off and on feelings since then, and I never really thought about it this way until I read what Donetta wrote. Maybe I should have been home-schooling all along.

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  5. I taught 1st grd in a Christian school for 8 yrs before the Lord blessed us with out 4 kids. I always wanted my children in Christian schools. When it was not financially affordable for us- with me as a stay at home mom- it KILLED us to place them in public school. Our children were instantly exposed to the secular lifestyle. Life for my kids changed!! I too thought and prayed about Homeschooling. I began researching groups in area and collecting curriculum. As I got more into it my kids began to stress. We have very strong personalities in our children- like myself and my husband. The idea of staying home with Mom all day was overwhelming to my children. As I worked through it all I ended up NOT homeschooling. I did feel the Lord closing that door. This meant that we needed to be consistent with nightly devotions, TALKING, PRAYING with our children about the secular world...making sure that we went to church faithfully... For us I strongly believe it would have damaged my relationship with my kids. Although many days I am heartsick for what they are exposed to I am determined to do what Christ has called me to do- teach them how HE would have reacted and behaved. I believe there are many WONDERUFL and SUCCESSFUL homeschooling parents- I applaud them!! It is a huge task and one that you need to be called to do! I will pray for you Allison as you look for God's direction.
    God's peace.

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  6. Allison,

    First I have to compliment you on the blog. That's really the reason why I'm here... I have been toying with building mine and struggle so I started following yours. Well, that and I like your Scentsy-related posts as they are helpful to my business. :)

    Anyway, this post touched me for a number of reasons, and I felt the need to respond. My gut reaction is to yell, "NO!!!" (LOL, I'm a little biased in that I too, was a public school teacher.) But honestly, if you are happy with her teacher and school, why change that?

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not against homeschooling. My cousin does it plus is a foster parent.I would be interested in it as well if I was a mom. It can be a fantastic experience.

    Here comes a BUT...

    Your daughter loves her special time with you. That lunch together was fantastic. That fun, unique one-on-one moment may not happen so much with homeschooling.(Not saying it won't, just cautioning on all the together time.)

    It all comes down to what you and Brian think is best for your family. Ask around, talk it over, and pray. Consider if your daughter be happier as a homeschooler? What are the pros and cons of her receiving a homeschool vs a public school education at this point? Will you be happier as a homeschool teacher vs a volunteer at the school? How would this change your family and business? What are your motives?

    I wish you all the best and am sending you positive thoughts.

    Hugs!

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  7. We started home school last year. My sons are 4 and 5. We love it! I was very back and forth as to put them in public school this year, but something kept telling me home school was the best decision. I am so glad we did it. It is an amazing feeling to be able to sit down and teach your children. When they are working on their papers, they'll say "Bubba come look what I did!' It's so sweet to be able to see them cheer each other on. I wouldn't change it for the world! There are so many resources out there for home schooling families. You and Brian would be great at it!

    ReplyDelete

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