He's Changing Me

Saturday, April 21, 2012

You know how yesterday's post was titled, "He Makes All Things New?" Well, I'm here to tell you that He does. Again. I'm sure of it. He's doing it in my life right now as we speak.

I had a dear friend text me tonight and ask what she could do for me tomorrow because she knows Sundays are the hardest day of the week for me. My response? "Nothing. I've got this. The Lord is working on me. He's changing my perspective. And He's changing me."

I know that this process of us taking in our foster babies and working through all the emotions and struggles and challenges that go along with that has been rather difficult to endure here on the screen. My sister even told me today that she isn't reading the blog anymore because in her words, "It's depressing."


That's the conversation I've been having with the Lord lately. I just keep asking Him why He would have me do this and write about it when it looks so painful. I am definitely not an advertisement for fostering. Not at all.

And in all honesty, Brian and I both know that this is not "our thing." There are people who the Lord has set apart to serve as foster parents. He equips them, encourages them, gifts them. He actually does that for all of us, it's just not all in the same area of service. He equips us all to serve, just not in the same capacity.

But the reality is, we were definitely called to fostering for this moment. And today the Lord brought me a story that I had heard a million times, but it came in a different way. There was new light behind it. His Word is alive.....did you know that?! That's how it works.

So you may have heard a little story about a man named David. David was the youngest of his brothers. He was a shepherd. And one day, he was told that he would become the King of Israel. He was chosen. Anointed.

But when he was anointed, he was still just a boy. And he went back to shepherding sheep. He knew the Lord had huge things in store for him, but in the meantime, he was to shepherd sheep.

The conversation I've had with the Lord lately may have sounded like a conversation David had with the Lord.
Lord, why do you have me doing this right now, when you have called me to do so much more.....to help so many more people? 
The answer, I believe, is that He is preparing me for something else just as he was preparing David for something else.

One day as David was delivering food to his older brothers who were fighting against the Philistines, he came face to face with Goliath. You probably know the rest of the story. David takes Goliath down with a slingshot.

The interesting thing about David is that while shepherding sheep, he often had to fight off wild animals like bears and lions to protect his sheep. When he came up against Goliath, he was prepared. Those seemingly meaningless times in the field tending to sheep were times that the Lord was preparing him for greater things.

I know the Lord isn't setting me up to be the King of Israel or to defeat a giant, but I know He is setting me up for something. I just feel like He wants me to know what it's like to serve like this....to love like this....to learn like this.....exactly how He wants me to.

People have told me over and over again that the Lord won't give me more than I can handle. Here's the truth about that. This is all more than any of us can handle. Life should be more than you can handle. You simply have to be in a place where you know you need Him and you can give it all back to Him.

That's where I am today. I don't know how much longer this journey will last. I don't know if we'll get to see these babies reunited with their parents or not. But I know that I'm okay here now.

He's changing me. I told you. I'm honored really that He's challenging me....that He's asking me to be more, give more, serve more.

My encouragement to you? Don't think the little things you're doing don't matter. They do. He may simply be preparing you for your Goliath.

.....day 253 of a year of writing.....


  1. Awesome revelation!

    However "depressing" your posts may have been, that is where you were in your life. Isn't that why you're blogging this 365 journey? Life isn't always about entertaining or being entertained. I have no doubt that perhaps a minuscule part of this fostering journey is to show others how it looks in "real" life. You've certainly shown me that it isn't all about swooping in and saving the day for a few kids who've been dealt a tough hand.

    I'm sure your sister meant well, I just wanted to balance it with a bit of perspective. Blog your life, girlfriend. That's all He's asked you to do. Don't write for the reader, write out of obedience. Remember His plans for us are far more than we can think of imagine. We'll only get there out of obedience to His call.

    Love you!

  2. Hey Girl,
    I just want to know that no matter what the posts are I love reading them. You are transparent and real, and that is what I love about them.

    My mom always told me that when people say "God won't give you more than you can handle", that is really an incorrect statement. God will give you more than you can handle, because he wants us to rely on him. If we could handle it all, why would we need to rely on God? It draws us closer to God, when we need him..With GOD we can handle anything, but without him we can't. :) I really think what she said is true. Just a different perspective.
    Love you girlfriend!


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