And Life Goes On

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Have you ever noticed that even when you're in the midst of chaos, life moves on?

We seem to move in and out of chaos. We tend to shy away from all things chaos and drama related but sometimes it just happens.

Life with four babies is finally settling down. It's been two months now. Brian and I are both on the same page about how we feel about our foster babies, and I've heard so many of you now tell me that the way I'm feeling is normal. Praise the Lord! I'm not crazy!

We thrive on routines around here. There is nothing unstructured about the way we function with four kiddos. Brian and I have both agreed that it's exhausting. We're tired. But we're good.

It's interesting to me that I no longer have fear. I used to be afraid of so many things. I used to worry about so many things, and now I'm simply not. I'm not fearful anymore.

I don't know what our future looks like. I quit trying to plan it out a long time ago. But I do know that I have someone to follow. It's like I finally handed over the keys and decided to let someone else drive the car.

Giving up control is a strange thing.....very abnormal for me. Waking up every morning with the prayer that the Lord would simply use me (even if it doesn't fit into my schedule) is something I had to grow into. But, I'm finally doing it.

That prayer is what got us into this crazy, chaotic thing we call life right now, and I am so incredibly grateful. Brian and I are both being changed by this experience. We are both learning what it looks like to really and truly serve.

You know that there are days when fostering is a service that I don't want to fulfill. There are days I want to quit. But overall, there are days where life simply goes on, and we learn a little more about what it looks like to serve with mercy and grace. This won't be our life forever. It's what it looks like right now.

It's given us perspective and hope and a different future. Fostering really has changed everything for us.

Speaking of change......tomorrow's events include an offer on a new house, a doctor's appointment to check on baby #3, and a little more crazy life mixed in.

And life goes on.... 235 of a year of writing.....

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