It sits there waiting. There is no one to curl up in it at night. At least not anyone in this house.
A rocking chair by its side ready to comfort and calm. But still there is no one.
It would be so much easier to just get pregnant. We've never had any trouble. That would be the easy answer, I think.
But I don't have peace about it. I'm not saying I won't ever be pregnant again, but right now, there is something different we're supposed to do.
Tonight I found out that one of my friends, who is already a foster parent, is taking in another baby (one who weighs only three pounds!) because the shelter is literally overflowing with kids, and she already has a baby.
And I'm mad.
And I'm irritated, and I'm extremely annoyed.
Seriously?!
I don't know what the point of our expedited training class was?! We still are not even official.
Brian's fingerprints came back a week before Christmas. He had them digitally done the second time hoping that they wouldn't come back again, but we're still waiting.
And as I type my frustration, I know deep inside me that God's timing with all of this is perfect. He has a plan specifically in place for us. I know that. I do.
I am just frustrated. I am ready and willing to help, and we're crawling through the legality of it all when babies are sleeping in an overfilled shelter. I have a problem with that.
I feel like I'm always on the edge of my seat. Just waiting for something....really for someone to show up.
Part of me still thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do this, but I know without a doubt that the Lord has asked me to, and I know that He will make it all work according to His plan. I know it.
So I guess, all I can do is wait, and trust in Him and His perfect plan, and know that one day I'll look back at all this waiting and understand why He made us wait. It will all make perfect sense eventually.
.....day 163 of a year of writing.....
And you are right...his timing is perfect. There is a precious child just needing you right now and God is paving the way even though we can't see everything that he needs to do first. It's saddening that there are overcrowded shelters though when tender hearts want to love on those kids. It's actaully pretty maddening. I pray this process goes quickly.
ReplyDeleteI know I've mentioned her a few times to you before, but my friend who is a foster parent just reminds me so much of you. Her hubby is a youth pastor and Amy has an amazing, sweet heart. Just two weeks ago they had a 15 year old boy and his infant son placed with them. It's kind of unbelievable the opportunity there to minister and mentor in that situation. And, they still have another boy from their previous placement. So in all that, know that God has that child for you. He's preparing you, the child and paving the way for this little one to be loved in a way that he or she has never had before. Trust in his timing and know that it's perfect. I know you know...hang in there girlie.
Allison-as you know, I understand your pain, frustration, and irritation.
ReplyDeleteGod has the PERFECT baby for you! We waited almost 2 years. That's right-2 years. We knew children were overflowing in other homes, shelters, and such. Why were we not getting a call? Then I found out.
Christ had our child picked for us. He was preparing us and preparing that child for the perfect time to meet us.
Antonio is MY SON. God knew that! He has a plan!