The Return

So, tomorrow coffee will officially return to my life.

I'm ecstatic.

But, I will say this journey on Daniel's Fast has been a good one this year. We started the year by fasting from meat, dairy, caffeine, sugar, and preservatives. And the hardest part for me was coffee.

I did not crave anything but coffee. Not even sugar!

I came to realize through the process that coffee is something I have come to find comfort in.

A big hot mug of coffee with cream and 2 splendas......it's my cup of tea. : )

And, it was definitely the hardest thing for me to give up. Of course there were the coffee headaches first. They lastest a good seven days, and on about day four, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

But long after the headaches subsided, I still wanted it. I was thinking about it and desiring it continuously. That is not a good place to be.

Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me that I should ask the Lord to take away my desire for it. I almost hesitated to ask because I love it so much, but I did. I just simply asked Him to take away my yearning for it.

And it was a like a switch turned off inside me. I suddenly didn't care. It didn't matter to me one way or the other if I drank it or not. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier.....just ask Him to take it away. Duh.

It was like I suddenly realized that I didn't need to search for comfort in a cup of coffee when all I really needed was Him. I knew that. But I wasn't living it, I guess.

Tomorrow I will more than likely return to coffee. Not because I have to or need to anymore, but simply because I enjoy it. We are at the end of our fast, and I feel like my awareness of God's presence in the everyday moments is heightened. I have been more patient with my kids, less cranky in the mornings, and more intentional with my time. I haven't been crazy about sticking to my schedule, and I've given myself a break. I haven't been obsessive about getting every single thing crossed off my list like I usually am. I feel a little more laid back.

Part of me doesn't want to return to the real world where food is a big deal and coffee is a way of life, but a fast is not something you do all the time. There has to be balance. But I am walking into normal eating habits tomorrow with more peace in all the right places.

Tomorrow I'll return to food as I know it. And hopefully, I'll only be drinking one cup of coffee as opposed to my usual 3! : )

Now I know I don't need any of it. All I need is Him.

.....day 161 of a year of writing.....