Whatever you want to call it, today was the day I broke. No reason. No warning. Just a breaking point.
Brian kept telling me I didn't have to be strong all the time and that I didn't have to be brave for everyone else.
And it wasn't that I was hiding anything or holding emotions back before today, they just weren't there. I didn't really feel anything.
And suddenly today, I felt everything at once. And I broke.
I don't know why. But it happened. And I cried and cried and cried and promised Brian that I wouldn't complain about it all the time but that I wanted to complain today.
I'm grateful for the knowledge. I truly am. But tonight, I don't want to make the decisions or be faced with the consequences of being BRCA 1 and 2 positive.
That's just the honest truth.
I guess I just wanted to say that everyone breaks. And we're not always as strong as we appear. And that's okay.
And I'm okay. I don't want you to think I'm not. I just needed a moment to be honest and real. But from here on out, no more complaining or crying, just doing. Doing something for my family and my future that will matter.