Learning How to Say No

Friday, May 13, 2011

Okay so if you're a woman, you have probably walked into a nail salon for a manicure or pedicure (or both if you're lucky!) and someone has tried to up sell you. Totally happened to me the other day. And I don't know why I have a problem saying no, but I do!

I went in for one of those new gele nail manicures and made an appointment for a pedicure the following week. As we're walking towards the nail tech, the owner asks me, "you want eyebrows waxed?"

Well, I hadn't planned on having my eyebrows waxed, but after you looked at me like that, I guess they really need it! So of course, I made a quick decision and said yes. After too many years of having eyebrows that were way too thin, I usually only let my hair stylist, Kayla, wax my eyebrows. But I caved under the pressure!

"Umm, sure I'll have my eyebrows waxed."

So he swooped me into the "Waxing Room." It seriously says that on the door. And he got to waxing. Of course, he made them too thin, too short, and uneven, but what do you do at that point? Nothing, except wish you had said no in the first place.
Why is it that we often say yes, when we really mean no? A lot of it probably comes from our desire to please other people. We often become so wrapped up in making everyone else happy that we forget what we really want and more importantly what God really wants for us.

Craig Groschel talks about how we have to learn to say no sometimes to certain things, people, and circumstances in order to live out the vision that God has for our lives in his book, Chazown. He defines sacrifice as "giving up something you love for something you love even more." When you can do that, you know exactly what you're living for.

Right now, I'm in the middle of a "learning to say no" lesson with God. I know that He is asking me to give up some things I love to pursue something I love even more. And I don't know why it's a battle. It's really because I can't say no to the thing He wants me to let go of. And it's because I'm scared of what He has in store for me (in a very good way). I know God is pushing me to be more and do more, and that excites me, but I also know that I'm going to have to learn how to say no.

I'm sure there are things you should be saying no to in order to be more effective and happy in your day to day life. I can't wait to share with you (very soon) what I'm going to start saying no to in order to live out the vision God has put in my heart.

But until then, start small when saying no. Remember, you don't have to do it all to be all that. Do the things that are most aligned with your values and the rest will fall into place. You'll find better peace, balance, and happiness with just 1 little word, "no." (or you could try "no thank you.")

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