I ate chocolate cake and a bowl of grape nuts for dinner, and now it's 11:30 pm and I'm sitting in my office attempting to catch up on work un-done this week.
That worn feeling hasn't left. I still feel heavy and burdened from the weight of these babes. Specifically the newest addition.
The foster mom who has Baby A's brother called today to tell me that our social worker called her on Friday asking if they (she and her husband) had seriously considered taking Baby A, because if they weren't willing to take him, the boys were going to be moved and moved soon.
It's almost been a month. Four weeks of this baby's life have been spent with us, and they want to put them together. Baby A and his brother are both thriving where they are. Why move them?
This is the part of foster care that is so incredibly hard. It's the reason we almost said no to him....I knew this would happen. I'm honestly a little irritated that our agency took the case and said they could place boys when they knew that they did not have a single family that would or could take them both.
So, because of that, the boys were split up. And now it's complicated. We love Baby A. His brother's foster family loves him, and DHS policy says they need to be together.
I understand the sibling bond. I do. I would want my kids together. But in the same breath, these boys are happy, healthy, thriving. And they are both with families who are willing and anxious to work with bio mom towards reunification. And we're committed to doing life together so these boys will continue to have a bond while they're in care. How does it make sense to move them?
My heart is just heavy. This part is hard. I don't believe it's in the best interest of either of the boys for them to be moved at this point, but no one else seems to care. Policy is policy. Individual circumstances apparently don't matter.
And I'm beginning to wonder where our advocate is. No one is standing on our side watching the way we love these boys. No one is fighting for what's best for the boys except for us.
Maybe I'm being selfish because I want him here. But I don't think I am. I can see the way he responds to my voice. I watch him turn his head when I walk in a room. Why would we continue to break bonds that this baby has established? That's where the system is broken. Let us love him. Let us love his brother and his brother's foster family. Let us do what we can to help this momma gain the knowledge and skills she needs to get her babies back. We want to be a part of that process. We are willing to do the work.
My heart's heavy. That's all. I want it to be different than it is.
And at the end of the day, I will choose to trust that the Lord knows the end of the story and that He will guide the decisions of every person involved whether they stay or whether they go.
Would you pray for our babies? We would so greatly appreciate it.