The struggle is real

Sunday, October 5, 2014

This gets harder everyday. Foster care brings both it's joys and challenges. 

It keeps getting harder mostly because I know that Baby A could move at any point in time, and we fall a little more in love with him everyday. 

He is one of two littles, so there is always the chance that he will be placed in a home where he can be together with his brother. The sibling bond is a strong and important bond that DHS attempts to keep intact. We are grateful that Baby A's brother was placed with another family in our agency. We picked the boys up at the same time, so we were able to establish a relationship, and have talked almost everyday since the boys have been placed. It's been great to have another amazing family to share this journey with. 

Tomorrow is supposed to be the boys 1st visit with mom. 

I'll be honest, I'm a wreck. 

I know this is what we signed up for, and we believe in the system, but no one knows anything about mom. I have no idea if she's even asked about the boys. 

That, and I have been falling in love with this baby for the past 3 weeks. He fits easily into our family. We all love Baby A, and we love having him here. 

It's a different feeling than I had with our 1st placement. I loved Shade and Ryleigh, but there was always something that reminded me that they were not mine and weren't supposed to be mine. I don't even know how to explain that, but it's what we knew in our souls. And those thoughts were right. Those babies would be reunited with mom in the best case scenario. 

The system can work. I've seen it happen. But I also know that bio parents have to be willing to work for their babies. That's what it takes every time. Effort. The willingness to change behaviors. The willingness to learn new skills. 

And I have no clue yet if our bio momma is going to have that drive. Sometimes you can't tell at first. Sometimes you know instantly. 

I have to remind myself everyday that our goal is reunification. That's what foster care is about. It's an attempt to break what are often generational behaviors to help change lives for the better. 

And it's our job to fight and advocate for this baby. No one else really will. The case worker is supposed to be the case worker for the mom and the boys, but she's really mom's case worker. Her goal is to get everyone back together no matter what. 

Our goal is to make sure this baby boy and his brother are always kept at the forefront of everyone's minds. They're why we're all in this beautiful mess in the 1st place. 

In a phrase written by a fellow foster mom, the struggle is real

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