The room was uninviting....almost stark. Nothing but 3 folding chairs, a folding table, and a few age appropriate toys for the babies.

It's not exactly the way I planned on spending Valentine's Day. Add in the poop in the tub and the puke in someone's bed, and it was really a gem of a night!

At least now I'm snuggled on the couch next to my hubby watching recorded TV laughing about it all. Well, kind of. We are laughing. Laughing that this is what it is. Hey, it's the best we can do right now.

We met mom today in that small, uninviting room at a non-profit counseling center while being observed through a 2 way mirror. The entire event was better than I anticipated. I was afraid of what she would think of me. Honestly. I know that sounds extremely egotistical, but I was worried about what she would think about us.

I can't imagine what it was like to be her. She hasn't seen her babies in 2 weeks, and I know that you reap what you sow, but she's still a momma who loves her babies. Of that I'm sure.

I also know that she's young; she's made some big mistakes, and there is a good chance no one has ever shown her what it really looks like to be a momma. How do you know how to be a good momma without an example of what it looks like or more importantly without Jesus? I really don't know.

I get it. I get how it's hard. I look at the baby (who turned 1 in January) and can't imagine what it would be like to have him and a newborn (which is exactly what she had.) It would have scared me too.

But in that room, sitting on the floor, handing out cheerios and goldfish one at a time, we got the first glimpse of the woman these babies know to be their mama. They love her, that's for sure, and that's a good sign. At least they weren't running from her or uninterested in her. (I was worried about that too).

The Lord is working on me, there is no doubt about that, because just a few days ago, I was pretty sure I hated her. How could she ever screw up so badly to get them taken away? But then again, maybe it's by grace and grace alone that many of us have never had to experience that.

In all reality, she's just like me.....only with a few more bad decisions and a little less guidance. My only prayer now is that God allows her to see that. That she and I are really not that different.

The biggest difference...I have Him. And really, He is all she needs.

Saying goodnight as a sinner saved by grace and grace alone.....on a Valentine's day full of stark, uninviting rooms, cheerios, goldfish, poop, and puke....

.....day 186 of a year of writing.....

Oh, So Late Tonight

Well, it's the eve of Valentine's Day and I'm still up. Part of it is due to me wanting to be Super Mom. (You know she never sleeps right?) And part of it is that we're still adjusting to having four kiddos.

The day to day is pretty easy, but there is a lot more that goes into four. Right now, three of the four have awful colds complete with coughs and sore throats. (The only reason it's not an even four` is because one of them is on an antibiotic.)

I have been to Walmart or Target three of the past four days simply because we keep running out of things.

I have bought more diapers than I ever thought possible in a week's time frame, and I am officially stocked up on children's Tylenol, Motrin, and teething tablets.

But, all is really well.

The babies went to day care today for the first time since they've been with us. It's a strange thing to drop kids off at day care simply because I've never done it, and if I had a choice, I would go for a Mother's Day Out program like Luke is in, but DHS won't pay for it.

Luckily, thanks to the referral of a friend, I found an incredible day care that I am crazy about. (I actually would have taken my kiddos there!) and my kids actually love it. They hung out a little bit today while I got all the paperwork finished up.

I know it's His grace reigning over us again and again in multiple situations as things fall into place for our non-traditional family.

I still have a lot of emotions and thoughts running through my head when I get the chance to actually think. All of which I'm sure you'll hear about in the weeks to come, but tonight I'm simply too tired.

Tomorrow is a big day. Lots of Valentine's Day parties, lots of gifts, and a meeting with the mom and dad of our babies. What a day it will be. I am once again so incredibly grateful that my Bible study girls will swarm in this house tomorrow morning at 9:30 a.m. to put my soul at rest, because I know tomorrow is sure to be a day of emotion for me.

I've been asking the Lord all day to simply prepare my heart for meeting their parents. I'm scared, nervous, and worried about how I'll react. I don't think the situation can get worse...hopefully, the Lord will use us to help make it better for everyone.

I'm sure you'll hear all about it tomorrow.

.....day 185 of a year of writing.....

Making a Mess

I should be catching up on all the work I didn't do last week, but I'm not! I'm playing! And I'm loving every second of it.

This is what I love.....being creative, making a mess, running out of things only to have to go out tomorrow to get more. It's making me happy.

I should be heading to bed, but instead, here I sit...telling you about my day. It's comforting in a strange way to re-live the happenings of the day...the things I probably wouldn't remember tomorrow.

Tonight Addy was my night owl. She stayed up tonight and helped me work on all the fun Valentine's Day gifts we're making for their friends and teachers at school.

I decided to try the multi-colored crayons that I saw on Pinterest here.

We had fun peeling the crayons and filling up the molds. We can't wait to see what they look like when they pop out tomorrow!

I also started melting Scentsy bars and pouring them into those same cute heart molds for all of the teachers at Addy and Luke's schools. 1 bar completely fills one heart. It worked out perfectly. 

And we worked on more of our S'more Valentine's Day gifts. I eventually ran out of marshmallows, so we'll have to finish those tomorrow.

Believe it or not, being amidst this mess makes me happy. Creating and playing and making a mess is good every once in a while. Tomorrow I'll tell you more serious stuff, like how God is showing off right now in the little things, how we're physically feeling your prayers, how people are bringing us food, and how next week, we'll be subject to a whole new range of emotions as we meet the parents of our foster babies for the first time.

But, tonight was all about messy fun. It's snowing outside, and I just had to get in my kitchen, melt some wax, and decompress a little bit.

Hoping your weekend was equally as relaxing.

.....day 184 of a year of writing.....

Looking Forward

I'm looking forward to next week.....to a more normal routine.

This week has completely exhausted me, and I didn't even work.

I'm ready for intention, planning, and purpose to return back to our routine. We've finally established a pretty good routine with our now 4 kiddos, so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

But it's definitely still 3 babies and a big girl who still needs help with some things. Thank goodness my mom is here this weekend to help me get everyone to church. It's quite the task to do all on my own. Brian has to leave early Sunday mornings, so getting everyone fed, dressed, and in the car is a little tough, but definitely do-able.

After a full week of having 4 kids, I'm exhausted! If my posts have not made much sense, exhaustion would be to blame for sure.

I'm excited about getting back to work next week. I definitely love what I do, and I miss it when I don't get to "work."Today was nice. We held a director training in downtown OKC. This is a quick pic I snapped some of our Directors and Star Directors who are working towards becoming SuperStar Directors. They're awesome, and I'm thrilled to work with them.

But tonight, I'm doing my best to relax. Right now, we're snuggled on the couch. Luke is still awake. He is our late night kid. He knows how to work the system to get in extra snuggle time, and we let him. 

By the way, do you see that monkey in the lower left hand corner? That is one of Scentsy's new baby buddies (complete with a mohawk). My kids are crazy over it, and I'm so excited for the entire line of baby buddies to be introduced on March 1st.

This week I am planning and marketing a President's Day Scentsy Sale, re-connecting with my directors, finding a place for all the junk that was in the closet that now contains baby clothes (right now it's all at the top of my stairs driving me crazy). I will also be cleaning out my Scentsy closet in my house since you can't even walk in it right now. I'm adding a new employee to my payroll, and we're beginning the process of planning our Spring Training event that will take place on April 28th. Oh, and I'm in the process of re-designing my blog thanks to Jenn at Munchkinland Designs and re-connecting with everyone of my frontline consultants over the next few months.

Tomorrow we're celebrating my mom's birthday after church, and then I've got to finish all the cute Valentine's Day gifts I started for my kiddos friends' at school.

Aren't they cute!

Plus I'm going to put together teacher V-day gifts using this great FREE printable from Emmy at Much Ado About You.  Check it out. You'll want to find a way to use it too. It's too, too cute!

Hoping you're relaxing tonight too.

I'm looking forward to a week of intention. How about you?

.....day 183 of a year of writing....

Life Is Moving On....

Life is beginning to feel manageable again. I wasn't entirely sure that was going to happen, but it is. I am beginning to feel like I've got this. 

It seems like it's been no time at all and then again it seems like they've always been here. It's officially been a week since they first reached for me the moment they came into our doors. I love them more everyday. We're working on balance and routine and systems. It's all smoothing itself out slowly, but surely. 

Tonight my momma's here. She gazed into their crystal clear blue eyes for the first time tonight, and of course, she is smitten, too. They are just breathtaking. You can't help but adore them. 

We're hanging out at the kitchen table while I attempt to meal plan for the coming week and dream of planning a once a month cook-a-thon to prep and freeze all our meals for a month. If I ever get that organized and it actually happens, I'm sure you'll hear all about it. But for now, it's a week at time. 

I thought I'd shoot a few random shots on my phone since you haven't had pics in over a week. Even though our family added a few more faces this week, we have not skimped on Valentine's Day preparations. I love holidays. We like to represent around here.

Check out our glitter hearts. Yep. They rock. I also bought heart garland for my kitchen, but Addison stole it away to her room where she and Grammy found the perfect spot for it. She is sooooo my child.

Here is my newest meal tracker. It's just a chalkboard calendar that I added to my "wall of organization." I pre-plan meals for the week here, so everyone (well, I guess technically just everyone who can read...which is only Brian and me) can see what's for dinner!

The "wall of organization" featuring my Master Calendar, a place for mail and keys, our meal calendar, and the newest addition to the wall......backpack and coat storage for the munchkins.

It's a necessity and it's on their level. LOVE it!

Oh, here is a little work undone. Yep, just sitting by the door. Luckily, it's only business supplies. : ) No customers went without wax during our "week of new babies."

And, I am super excited about this! In the works for month now.....our New Director Training program is almost complete! It's an eight week program that a group of directors and I put together to help other directors know how to lead successfully in their Scentsy businesses. We are hoping to launch it sometime next week!

Oh, and I stole a few shots of little man yesterday. You can see these since his face isn't in any of them.
I told you his hair was white! He's precious even from behind!

And tonight we made delicious homemade brownies. Yep. Delicious. We found a killer recipe for a Valentine's Day Brownie here.

We're not finished yet. Icing and strawberries to be added tomorrow. I guess until then......life is moving on.

.....day 182 of a year of writing.....

Will You?

The days around here are flying by. As of tomorrow we will have had our first set of foster kids for one week. We have survived the first seven days.

A year ago, I never thought this is where I would be. Maybe with one more kid of my own, but two of someone else's.....there was no way! I was too afraid that I couldn't take care of my own kids. I never would have added someone else's to the mix.

But there is nothing the Lord, our God, can't do. If you want Him to, He can change you for the better.

I'm sure over the coming days, weeks, and months, you'll only hear more and more about how awesome the God we serve is. I'm going to ask Him to show up in a big way in these babies' lives. There is no doubt about that.

Today we received the kids' file from their case worker. I am not going to read the entire thing because what Brian has told me so far was more than I wanted to know.

But, what I am going to do, is to start praying specifically for our babies' parents. The reality is, these babies will more than likely go home to their parents, but their mom and dad still have a long way to go. I believe that the Lord placed us in this situation more for their mom and dad than for the babies. Of course, the babies are being loved and adored and kissed all over here, but if we can get to mom and dad, we can change the future of the babies that we're falling in love with.

As Brian read me bits and pieces of their file, I started to think of what an awful situation we were in for just a second. Then I remember who my Daddy is. Who my Father is. There is nothing that He cannot do. There is no situation He cannot change, and maybe I'm naive, but I'm going to believe Him for the big things that I know He can do and will do for the sake of these babies.

So, I need to know if you'll pray with us.....daily.....for the parents of the sweet babies sleeping in my house and stealing away my heart. He can change anyone. Would you stand with me in believing that God will change the future of these babies for generations? And, will you pray that I don't hate her for what she's allowed to happen? That instead, I look at her through the eyes of Christ and love her unconditionally and be willing to fight for her? I believe that's what I'm really supposed to do.

I believe it's possible. Will you stand by me and believe it, too?

Thank you for being my sounding board. For keeping me sane, and allowing me to be exactly who I am. Here's to the adventure!

.....day 181 of a year of writing.....

Thank You

Your words have covered me, swamped me, almost overwhelmed me. Your prayers for us are being heard.

We are stronger today than we were yesterday.

Most of the day I thought it was Thursday (it was not and still isn't). I had another incredible batch of Girl Scout cookies today (even though I said I was quitting). I got a little frustrated (what's new?). I'm eating cereal for dinner at 10:15 p.m. (even though I cooked for the kiddos). Oh, and my favorite thing that happened today...Brian said to me, "Baby, thanks for not being crazy two days in a row" (to which I replied with a grin, "The day isn't over yet.").

But more than anything, I can't get over you. I can't get over how your words are strengthening us at exactly the right moments. I can't get over how you know exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it.

As you can imagine, my quiet time with the Lord has pretty much been nonexistent over the past five days. I just haven't been quiet enough to hear Him, but, oh, how I hear Him through you!

It really does take a village to raise a child. Thank you for being the support we need when we need it.

Ready for another adventure tomorrow.....

.....day 180 of a year of writing.....