Attempting to Get Ahead

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Monday morning I head out to Boise, Idaho, for the first ever Scentsy SuperStar Director Summit. One hundred of Scentsy's top leaders (and some spouses) will gather together for what will surely be a wonderful time of networking, idea sharing, training, and so much more.

I'm anxiously anticipating Monday afternoon when I'll watch my responsibilities and even my never ending to do list stay below the clouds as my plane heads west, but the approach of a flight always gets me in a whirlwind of an attempt to get ahead before the wheels leave the runway.

Unfortunately, I usually end up doing my best to play catch up the minute I'm floating in the air and that ever-so-polite voice tells us that "you may now use all approved electronic devices."

Out comes the laptop and the list of dos (that never seem to get left behind no matter how much I want them to).

I feel slightly ashamed to admit that I am looking forward to having only my own teeth to brush, only my own clothes to pick out, and only my own lunch to prepare for five days straight. Don't take that the wrong way. There is nothing I would rather do than care for my babies. But every once in a while, it's nice to only have to take care of me! I'm anxiously awaiting it! The continuous sleep, the absence of whining.  Dinner that consists of something other than pasta and chicken.

Until Scentsy came along, I thought that it was perfectly healthy for Brian and I to never leave Addison. We were a family. I just figured she would always be with us. And the first time we left her was incredibly hard. I thought I might have a near breakdown. I felt like I was abandoning her. But we did it, and I realized how important it was for us to have time with each other as a couple. The trips we've had to ourselves (no matter how selfish they may seem) have done wonders for our marriage.

We've also realized that we need time to ourselves. I left Brian and the kids for an entire eight days while I went on an Alaskan cruise I earned through Scentsy. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I learned so much about myself that week.

Now Brian spends a couple weeks in Colorado every year. I usually travel by myself to a few Scentsy events a year, and everyone gets a little "me time."

So while I write this and attempt to make lists in my head of all the things I think need to be done before I jump on a plane, I am reminding myself that whether I get ahead or not, I will be fine. My kids will be fine, and my husband will be fine.

No matter how much I like to believe that they can't function without me, they actually can. I don't have to micromanage every chicken nugget they'll eat while I'm gone. (Even though I am attempting to because I don't want them surviving on chicken nuggets while I'm gone.)

I'm also anxiously awaiting day three when I start to miss them all so much I can hardly stand it.  I'll miss waking up to a little body who snuck in my bed in the middle of the night to "nuggle."  I'll miss their laughter and their cries, and I'll miss the arms of may husband at just the right moment when I start to feel overwhelmed.

And I'll rush home barely able to wait until I feel them in my arms. The pieces of me that I live with day in and day out, but often take for granted, will be so much more appreciated when that plane lands back where the wind comes sweeping through the plains and I hear their little voices calling out for their mommy.

Oh what a week it will be. 36 of a year of writing.....

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