1. It has been too long since I've written, and I think the lack of writing is attempting to make me a crazy person!
2. I have had this post written for a long time, and I have no idea why it hasn't yet been posted, so here you go.
3. For more information about NKH, Hope Link, or Newborn Screening, check out the websites below:
From June 10, 2011
Today was beautiful.
What once crushed my spirit and made me question my faith now envelopes my soul and covers my doubt like a warm comforting blanket.
Oh how full my heart is today. What a blessing to be able to love on and pray over NKH babies from all over the country at this year's national NKH conference held in Oklahoma City.
What once made me so mad and frustrated at God, now makes me want to put my face to the floor and worship Him for His grace. I believe that one of the things that made me fall so in love with God is a beautiful little girl named Ellie Kate.
My heart and soul have questioned, pondered, been angry with and worshiped a God who would use a sweet baby girl to bring people to Jesus. Ellie Kate has made me kingdom minded more than any other person or circumstance in my life. She has challenged me and made me grow.
I am beginning to accept that I will never be able to understand all that God does. I will never understand the suffering, pain, tears, sorrow, questioning, joy, beauty, laughter, and love of raising an NKH baby, but I do know that when I finally see God's face and kneel at His feet, I will understand in an instant what I can't begin to fathom or explain now. And although I don't like not understanding, I know that it is part of walking by faith.
I know that God has His hand in ALL things for the goodness of His kingdom. I know He is just, and I know He is enough.
We so often become caught up in our world (this earth and all the happenings on it) that we forget as Christ followers that our real concern should be bringing more people to know Christ.
How do we show as many people as possible how to fall in love with a man who loves us more than life? Jesus, who died for us! How do we bring more people to His feet?
Do I believe that these precious babies are here to bring people to Christ?
I'm not sure. I'm still okay not knowing all the answers. These precious babies were no mistake on God's part. They were wonderfully made for the work of His kingdom.
For you created my inmost being,
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body,
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalms 137:13-16
All I really is know is the change that Ellie Kate has made in me. She transformed me. She took me from lukewarm to on fire.
Ellie Kate made me question God. She made me mad at God. And then she helped me fall so deeply in love with my God that I can't wait for the day that I get to thank her for changing me.
For years I prayed to be "on fire" for God. I wanted a love that I would HAVE to share, that I wouldn't be able to contain, and then that love came from something I tried so hard to stay away from.
I don't watch the news. I don't want to hear about pain or suffering. I am the type of person who would rather just pretend that all is well in the world...or at least I used to be...
What a blessing to know an angel. Oh, how she melts my heart! Just writing these words about Ellie Kate, brings a smile to my face that sends joy down my spine. I am so in love.
How will I ever thank this sweet baby for the change she made in me?
How will I ever have the right words to tell her how she changed my life and my eternity and possibly the future of my family?
One day I'll see her in heaven in perfect form. In the place that she was made for. And I'll be able to tell her...I'll be able to tell her....(oh the tears!)
She makes me want to work the rest of my life to bring people to know the Jesus I love and am in love with because of a precious NKH baby who changed my view of life, death, love, and Christ
And Ellie Kate, I promise to do it all for you.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Rejoicing in the Lord always....
Thank you for your post Allison. This is so moving and the love you have for this child and the lord are expressed beautifully!
ReplyDelete