It is so easy to become jaded.....to question and doubt all that you are and all that you do. 

The voices in our heads tell us that we're not enough and that we don't deserve what we have. And eventually, we start to believe them. 

We step back and we question and we wonder if what we're doing is the right thing. 

Six years ago, I was teaching 8th grade English. Brian was selling high line cars, and Addison was 9 months old and learning how to walk. 

And more than anything, I wanted to be home with her. I loved my job, but I loved her more. The reality was that we were in credit card debt up to our eyeballs and there was no way I could quit my job...unless I was willing to cut out cable and cell phones and groceries and heat and a/c. We live in the south. There was no way I was cutting out heat and a/c. 

Quitting my job wasn't in the cards. 

However, I don't like it when I don't like the options at hand, so I sought out other options, and by sought out other options, I mean I prayed like crazy that we would win the lottery (that we didn't play) or I would find $20,000 on the sidewalk. 

Neither of those things happened. 

But what did happen was something I never expected. Through a series of events involving about 80 tiny lip gloss like containers filled with deliciously scented wax, a Scentsy catalog, a little research on the internet, and $99, I signed up to be a direct sales consultant. 

If we were friends 6 years ago when this happened, you laughed when I told you what I was doing, but I didn't care. 

I knew absolutely nothing about sales, let alone direct sales, but I didn't care. 

I was scared to death that I could never sell a thing to anyone, but I didn't care. 

All I cared about was her.

She changed me. She made me so much more than I ever could have been on my own. 

And somehow, despite my complete lack of knowledge about all things direct sales, I did okay. And I somehow convinced other people that they should do it with me. It would be fun. 

And it was fun. 

And 3 days before my 1 year anniversary as a Scentsy consultant, I promoted to the highest rank possible. I cried in my living room on Halloween. I was the company's 23rd SuperStar director (along with about 30 other people who promoted the same day that I did), but we'll call it 23. 

And life went on. Baby #2 came along not long after that. I spoke to a crowd of 800 people at a Scentsy event 3 days before he was born. 

And business was good and momentum was good and life was good. 

Then I battled fear for a long time. It's a lengthy story that I'm sure is somewhere on this blog. {Best of luck finding that post.} 

But I worked and I worked hard, and I knew why I was working. For them. We wanted more. We still weren't out of debt.  Brian was still working long hours at the car lot, and life still wasn't what we wanted it to be. 

So I worked. I sold product and people joined my team and our company grew. 

And before I knew it, Brian quit his job. We started making more money than we had ever dreamed of making, and our marriage was as unhappy as it had ever been. I couldn't help but wonder what we had gotten ourselves into. It turns out that money really doesn't buy happiness.  

But the Lord is so gracious and so patient. We moved to house #2. We started to like each other again, and all was well in the Dalke house. 

Then one day, we felt the Lord calling us into foster care. So we went. In the process, we couldn't get a foster baby fast enough. The day we were finally approved as foster parents, we received a call that there were 2 babies. A 1 year old and an almost 2 year old. Siblings that had been living in the shelter for 7 days. And could we take them? 

We did. And they wrecked my world in the best way 2 small people can wreck someone's world. They changed everything for us. 

And our business kept on keeping on. 

And those babies made me want a baby of my own. And before they moved out, I was pregnant with baby #3. 

Then we almost moved to California. We really tried to. We tried to buy 3 houses, and it just didn't work out. 

And instead we had a baby on Halloween 5 years after that day I cried in my living room. This Halloween, I cried in my hospital bed because I knew we couldn't move to California even though we had already sold our house and we had to be out in a little less than a month and a half. 

As we drove baby #3 home from the hospital, Brian and I talked about California and about Oklahoma and about where we wanted these babies to grow up. And we both knew that it was here. 

So with a newborn in hand, we frantically began looking for house #3. It would literally have to be a miracle. I was not settling for anything less than the space we were looking for (I swear this is the last move we're making!), and we had no where near the time we realistically needed to close. 

But we looked. And we found the house we had been looking for all along. A house we never could have bought, on a lot that we never could have afforded. The perfect spot, with the perfect space, and now we just had to make it happen in the perfect time. 

It ended up all working out by the grace of God alone, so we moved and we began to settle in. 

Before we knew it, that little girl that I worked so hard to stay home with was going to 1st grade. Off she went. 

But she wasn't happy, and we weren't happy. The little girl who had always loved school was bored and annoyed by the thought of 1st grade. Not exactly what a momma wants to hear. After a lot of prayer, we took her out of public school and started homeschooling. Brian teaching 2 days a week, myself teaching 3 days a week. 

And that's where we found ourselves last year. Adjusting to life in a new house with 3 littles while homeschooling. 

I suddenly felt trapped. This incredible "job" I had, had afforded all of this and so much more. I was grateful for sure. But there were moments where I felt trapped. I felt like I was stuck and I couldn't get out if I wanted to. 

We depended on the money. It was our lively hood. Even if I wanted to just be a stay at home mom, I couldn't. Not now. We were too far in. 

So, last year, I coasted. I did everything I was supposed to do. I did more than I was supposed to do, but if I'm honest, there was something missing. 

The passion, the fire, the drive, the inspiration, it was gone. I didn't know where it was and I didn't know how to get it back. 

I tell you this story to tell you that last year isn't the end of the story. It's not the end of my story with Scentsy or direct sales. It's really only the beginning of my story. 

When I recently walked away from social media, I asked myself a lot of hard questions. I was able to think clearly for the 1st time in a long time. I knew what I thought. I wasn't confused by what everyone else thought. 

And somewhere between turning off all the voices of negativing in my head (thanks social media) and sitting on a beach watching the waves roll in, I was reminded of why I love my job. 

I honestly don't know why I forgot. 

Because this is my story, but at the same time, it's only one of thousands of stories. Direct sales is a business that creates personal change in people. I have seen so many people in my circle of friends and family who have been remarkably changed by their experience with the Scentsy family. They are better people. More generous people. More well rounded. More real. 

And in the past few weeks I have been so beautifully reminded that I get to be a part of that change in people. I get to sit across from them at coffee or at lunch or over the computer and hear about the way their business fits into their life. I get to hear about why they're working and what they want. And I get to be a part of the change that happens in people when they decided to ignore the voices of fear and doubt in their minds and do something bigger with their lives than they ever thought they could do. 

I guess this is my apology. 

I was never negative. I was never negligent. I was never absent. I was just uninspired. I forgot for a moment why it is that I work. And it's not complicated, and there is no mega dream board or 12 month goal plan. It's simply them. 

And him. 

and us. 

 This place and these people and this life is the reason I am a Scentsy Family consultant. They are the reason that I will continue to choose to run my business with passion and purpose this year. 

And whether you're a customer or a consultant or a friend or a fellow blog lover or an IG follower, my hope for you in 2014 is that you too will work with purpose and passion. 

Here's to 2014.....May it be your best year yet. 

I'm Choosing My Business in 2014

It's time to begin again. 

Do you ever just feel like you need a do-over? 

I think we all do sometimes. It's probably the new year that has me all excited about new beginnings and beginning again. But the new year also has me reflecting on the past year and looking at challenging myself to do this year a little differently. 

This year, I want to choose my business because I believe it has the ability to change people for the better. I've watched the Scentsy family help people change the course of their lives. How could I not want to see that happen in others? 

To live the life you always dreamed of. That's the goal right? 

To be finically free. To stand behind a product that you are passionate about....a product that you love. That's what I want. 

So this year, I'm choosing my business, not because I have to, but because I want to. 

I want to see life change in others. I want to share the incredible opportunity that our company allows people. I don't want to be stingy. I want to generous. 

I want to lead and love and share. That's what direct sales is really all about. 

Some of you may feel like you've just been going through the motions for a while. Honestly, all of last year, I went through the motions. Somehow, I lost a little bit of my passion, and it showed. 

So that's why I'm campaigning for a new start. A do-over of sorts. Let's scrap last year, and start again. 

Maybe you've never really run your business at all. You've sold a little here and a little there, but you've never looked at your Scentsy, Velata, or Grace Adele business as a business. Maybe you've wanted more, but never known how to go about getting more. 

Wherever you find yourself today, I proclaim today as a new day! Let's just start again. Let's remember why we signed up, what we hoped to get out of all of this, and let's run businesses that thrive. 

I want a business that creates value in the life of others. I want my business to contribute to my community and the lives of my customers and the lives of my team members. That sounds a lot better than mediocrity doesn't it? 

But before we move towards choosing our businesses this year, there is one more thing we have to address. That nasty F word. 

Fear. 

It stops us in our tracks and keeps us from moving forward. Running a small business isn't scary, but putting yourself out there and failing is. It's what we're ultimately all afraid of.....what if I try really hard to make this work, and it doesn't? 

I get the fear. I was there. But there has to be something bigger than the fear. For me, it was the face of my little girl. Addy was 9 months old when I started selling Scentsy and I desperately wanted to be at home with her. I wanted to take care of her. I was willing to take the risk of failure if it meant that I might succeed in the process. 

So what is your Big thing? What is it that will allow you to push past the fear and do something great? What is it that makes you want to be a little better everyday? 

Let's name it. 

This is your year. Choose your business this year. Forget about the fear. Push it out the way. And let's start over together. 

Your challenge is to commit. Post this picture to social media with the hashtags #IChooseScentsyFamily #IChooseMyBusiness and tell us what your reason for working is. Let's hold each other accountable. Let's do something big this year. 

Then follow along. All year long, I'll be blogging about my business. We'll start from the beginning. We'll do things that make successful consultants, and we'll do it together. 

What do you say? 

Are you choosing your business this year? I know I am. 

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

If I Only Had a Brain, Fear, and Heaven

I know I keep telling you that I'm going to re-cap our NYC trip. It's how I'm trying to keep you reading my blog actually.

I really was planning on writing about that tonight. But doing so would have required me to upload pictures onto my computer, and instead of doing that, I got involved in all kinds of other shenanigans tonight (none of which included uploading photos), BUT I'm uploading them now, and in roughly 7 hours, I will have pictures on my computer. (Not quite 7 hours, but it might as well be.)

So instead of NYC, you're getting FEAR! Aren't you excited?

I know. I'm exciting like that.

So here's what's on my heart tonight....




Fear is strange.

It has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it, and wrecking everything that you thought to be true of your life.

We expect fear to come after a shooting or a natural disaster, but sometimes the fear likes to hold off and store itself up so it can attack when you least expect it.

I have written about fear many times on this blog. If we're going to be honest, it's something we all battle.

But yesterday, it came crashing back to me......A made up reality that I started to play out in my mind.

See, I have the honor of serving on the Board of Directors for Hope Link. Hope Link is a non-profit organization that provides support to families who have children with rare, serious, or undiagnosed conditions. These moms have the heaviest burden I have ever watched anyone carry.

Last night I sat in on one of their meetings. I have been to numerous. This was not the 1st. But there were at least 4 mommas in the room who have buried children. It's unfathomable.

And I heard them talk about how it never gets easier, and how it only gets different.

It's a walk that you would never wish on anyone, and they're living it. Our worst fears realized....these women are living it.

This week I have also had so many things come up about BRCA 1 and 2. {Insert Angelina Jolie.....and quit giving her a hard time because I don't think you would know what you would do until it became a reality for you.} BRCA 1 and 2 are the breast cancer genes. My mom carries both of them. She went to the doctor for her yearly check up and was once again deemed cancer free. It's been 5 years. I am so grateful.

But everyone wants my sister and I to be tested. And rightfully so. It's knowledge that I believe I need to have. But it's scary. And part of me doesn't want to know.

And then my friend came down from Kansas. She carries both genes. We talked about it all night.

One of the consultants on my Scentsy team died last week from cancer. She had 2 girls.

And the mind runs.

Does your mind do that? One thought leds to the next which leds to the next, and before you know it, you're on a runaway train headed straight for a cliff?

Speaking of minds that run, that reminds me of the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.

(I was thinking about our minds and at the beginning of this post I was thinking about NYC, where I saw Wicked for the 1st time......thus.....The Scarecrow!) Just in case, you wanted to know how I got there {runaway train}.

You know that song he sings about all the things he would do if he only had a brain? I looked up the lyrics....

(Scarecrow)
I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain

I'd unravel any riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain

(Dorothy)
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln 
If you only had a brain

(Scarecrow)
Oh, I would tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain

I was lying in bed last night thinking about that silly scarecrow and how he so desperately wanted a brain when on most days I wish I could give mine away. It's what takes me down those runaway train tracks and straight into fear.

The Scarecrow says that he "would dance and be merry" if he only had a brain. But it seems to me that my brain is what often keeps me from being merry. It starts to think about things and reality and then it creates a nonreality that I start to think is reality, and things usually go downhill from there. The snowball you could call it (and not the good Dave Ramsey, debt smashing kind of snowball), the kind of snowball that takes one idea and turns it into many and rolls and rolls and rolls and gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

I sort of let fear sneak in on me last night somehow like that crazy snowball rolling down the hill gaining momentum with every turn. But I learned something last night that I do not want to ever forget.

When I was sitting in a circle with so many moms who had lost children, I heard one of my dear friends say that losing a child makes you "yearn for heaven." And I watched as they nodded their heads just like I would in church when the pastor says something really good and I want to say amen, but I don't want people to think I'm crazy. It was serious nodding. Yes, yearning for heaven is what we do.

Why do we live so consumed with this world, that we allow fear to overcome us so much so that we forget that the worst that can happen to us is that someone would threaten us with heaven?

In our humanly sin filled minds, we have a desire to stay on this earth because it is what we know. But I know people who yearn for heaven, because what they know and love and carried and birthed and loved is there and not here.

So tonight I'm praying for a heart that yearns for Heaven. I want a heart that could take or leave this earth. Just give me heaven.

I used to actually be afraid of heaven. And sometimes if I let my mind wander, I can end up down that road again. I don't understand what eternity looks like. I can't make it makes sense in my mind, so because I don't understand it, I fear it.

That is the craziest thing you have probably ever heard. But it's the truth.

But the rest of the truth is that the more I have gotten to know the Lord that I call God, the more my fears have learned to wash themselves away.  The Prince of Peace really does come with peace. It's a package deal.

And really, when it comes to my worst fears, what's the worst they can do? As Vince Gill would say, "Threaten me with heaven....that's all they can do."

Until then, I am going to do my best to lessen my love for this world, and increase my love for Christ, so that I too can yearn for Heaven.