My husband made me write tonight. I just didn't feel like it. I don't feel like I have anything to say at the moment, and I had to clear a spot on my desk to put my computer because my office is so messy.

But my commitment to write everyday is not just about checking off a box, it's about writing down the bones about what really happens in life. Not scripted. Not planned. Not always edited. Just real and raw and honest.  

That's usually where the best stuff comes from....in those moments where I sit down to write and have no idea what I'm going to say, that's usually when the Lord shows up to remind me of something that I need to remember or write on my heart. 

Tonight I can't stop thinking about the amazing friends and family I have. I am so grateful to have people who love me and give of themselves so selflessly to do so. 

My husband is one of those people. He is my rock, and he has been the strongest I've ever seen him over the past few days. He has served my family and me in such a beautiful way. And I'm crazy about him. 

But I also have these friends who send me things in the mail. Things that somehow always come at the exact right moment. 

I received two necklaces in the past 3 days from two very dear friends. The first came on the day that I found out I was BRCA 1 and 2 positive. A small, silver circle, with an A in the middle of it and Jeremiah 1:5 attached to it: 

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. 

The perfect reminder that He knows my name. 

Then, just 2 days later, I received a necklace from a dear friend with a picture of my three babies on it and the words, with brave wings she flies. {And these beautiful and encouraging notes.}

Neither of them knew how timely their love mail would be received. Neither of them knew the impact the words attached to those necklaces would have.  

Here's what I know. I wanted to bawl when I opened that "A" necklace. The reminder that the Lord knows my name and knew me before I was born, makes me want to drop to my knees in praise.....gene mutation or not. I was no mistake. 

And when I went to the mail and found that necklace with my babies picture on it, I was on the phone with that very same friend who sent it. {We've talked on the phone maybe 3 times in our friendship.} It was a simple reminder that I am not alone; that I have friends and family who love me and will fight for me and support me no matter what decisions I make in the future. 

I tell you all this not to merely brag on my awesome friends, but to encourage you. When you think of someone, drop them a note, give them a call, send a text. Your words and your love are incredibly powerful in the lives of others. 

I know that there are days when we feel like we'll never get our own lives together, but there is joy that comes from encouraging someone else. Your words and your ideas do matter, and so often the Holy Spirit uses us to encourage others in only a way that He can understand. So no matter how silly it may seem, or how much it may not make sense to you, send the text, write the card, make the call. 

Your words matter. They truly, truly do.

When you've been through a lot together

"We've been through a lot together."

We really have. She knows me better than anyone except my husband....and there's a chance that she knows me better than he does. 

Our journey started in kindergarten. Somehow, at 5 years old, a lifelong friendship was formed. We would go to school together until 3rd grade, and then we wouldn't walk the same halls again until our sophomore year. 

She knows all the details of my junior high and high school career. Everything I quickly forgot, she has remembered. She was there for my 1st kiss (knows the date and all the details); she was there when I performed on stage or cheered on the sidelines; we took road trips together; and many a sleepover in each other's beds. 

We are almost as different as night and day. She is the girl that everyone likes. She makes friends easily and comes off as pleasant. I, on the other hand, tend to come off as a witch on occasion, and I'm the first to admit that I don't like girls very much (more on that in another post coming soon). I'm a neat freak....she is not. She loves math. I love English Lit. She played basketball. I was a cheerleader. I was boy crazy in high school, and she was not.

And 25 years later, our lives have been intricately intertwined. She is simply a part of me. 

And when I say we've been through a lot, I mean it. I was a horrible friend in high school. I dated her ex-boyfriend/ 1st love in high school. That's pretty much an instant call for the end of a friendship with no questions asked. And she forgave me. I was so stupid. 

Now, as grown adults, we have been pregnant at the same time twice. She was in the room when my daughter was born. She got engaged on New Year's Even at my house. We were of course, in each other's weddings. 

Our relationship is different but very much the same now. There are times that we go months without talking. And when we see each other again, it's like we never missed a day. 

I'm thrilled that we were able to spend this weekend together. It was a joy to my soul. I can't really put into words what that kind of friendship is like. I'm just beyond grateful that I've been blessed with it. 

"Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest...It's about who came and never left your side." 

{May 2006}

{This weekend}