Desperate

So I know I haven't had a lot to write about lately. A few good ideas here and there, but mostly fluff. I think it's because i'm in the process of changing a few things....my routines, my heart, my focus. All things that I'm sure I'll be ready to write about soon enough. 

I've been thinking a lot and questioning everything. 

I desperately don't want to our lives to look like the world. I can't decide if this was all spurred by Miley Cyrus' performance on the VMA's or not, but it's a possibility. 

I want my life to be full of Christ and full of these little people, and I don't want a whole lot else. 

I don't want to live in fear. It always has a way of creeping into our lives, and I desperately don't want any part of it. 

Can you tell I'm desperate? Desperate for Christ. Desperate for God's word and truth and abundant life. 

Desperate for Jesus and all he is. Light, truth, grace, mercy, peace, joy, life. I want all that. 

But that might mean that we make some decisions to live life differently. Maybe we make some decisions to ensure we have a Christ centered home. Maybe that's exactly what we need. 

And maybe we lay it all at the cross. Lay it all down in surrender to Christ. 

from "Becoming Myself" by Stasi Eldredge....on fear.....

Laying down what we want to protect or are afraid of losing or are terrified we will never have is not the same thing as losing those things. It is surrendering them. It is opening up or clenched hand around them and allowing God access to them and to us. It is actually saying yes to God for them. Yes to his plan. Yes to his way. It is believing that just as his ways are higher than the heavens are above the earth, so his way for the things we fear is higher. This God of ours is a God of life, of goodness. He is the God of the Resurrection. We lay down our fear. We pick up Jesus. He is the only way we can live beyond fear. He is the Way.

And I am desperate for Him.