So I've been flaky lately. I'll be the 1st to admit it. I know my blog header says I'll write everyday, and I haven't been. I haven't felt like it. And honestly, I've been a little uninspired. There's been too much in my head to allow me to really think and dream and plan. But since I've been off of social media for a while now, I feel different. 

I feel more like me. I feel more like a leader. I feel more motivated and focused, and I'm getting re-inspired. And it feels so good. 

I guess sometimes you just have to clear your mind of all the extra baggage to feel lighter in your soul. 

I'm narrowing my focus and re-defining. 

But I also thought you might want to see our big 1-year-old's birthday party. We held it on the night of the 1st OKC Thunder home game of the regular season, so we went with a basketball theme. 

Back to School Teacher Gift

I know it's Labor Day weekend, and college football kick off day. Hooray! As I type this, 15+ family members are exiting my house after an impromptu OU watch party. Boomer Sooner! 

This week, Addy and I put together a fun little back to school teacher gift for her sticker loving teacher. 

Addy said that her teacher just loves stickers. She loves all kinds of them, so we decided to put together a back to school gift for her. (It was all Addison's idea). 

We bought a mason jar, a cabinet knob, and stickers. 

I had Brian drill a hole through the top of the mason jar so we could put the knob on top. We then glued the 2 pieces of the lid together so it would all function as one piece. 

Addy then filled the jar up with stickers, and there ya have it! A back to school gift. You could use this mason jar with a knob idea and put anything you like inside. It's a fun little presentation, and would make for some fun Christmas gifts. 

Happy Labor day weekend ya'll! 

My Favorite Way to Spend One Dollar Bills

I just realized that that title could totally be taken the wrong way....so it's staying.

Friday is a family day. I don't "work" on Fridays, so the boys and I get to hang out. Since Wyatt was protesting his morning nap, we decided to head to Hobby Lobby to pick up a bag that I left there a couple days ago when checking out. (And while I love Hobby Lobby, this post is not about Hobby Lobby. I'm sure you already know how to spend your dollars there.)

We took Wyatt in in the jogging stroller, I picked up the already paid for merchandise, and we decided to look around a bit. I mean, you pretty much have to. I picked up a couple things that I had no idea I needed until I knew they were on sale, and then we headed to the kid aisles. 

They have so much cool stuff for kids at Hobby Lobby. Science stuff, history stuff, art stuff (obviously), so we took our time looking around. At this point Wyatt was asleep and had been for a while, but we eventually filled the stroller to capacity with all the things we decided we needed, so we had to go check out. I didn't want to take Wyatt out of the stroller and put him in his car seat because I knew he'd wake up, so we unloaded our Hobby Lobby loot in the car, and walked over to the dollar store. 

I don't frequent the dollar store. Sometimes I go in to see what kind of deals I can snag. But it's a blast to go in there with a kid. 

Luke found some ninja toy he wanted, and looked up at me like, mom? And I said, "you can have that," and his eyes just lit up. And after the 2nd yes, he was in heaven. 

But I say all that to tell you that I love buying busy box things at the dollar store. A busy box is a toddler "to do" box. It's the magic box I pull out on "those days." We have several busy boxes stored away in our playroom out of reach of my children that are ready and waiting to save me on a "mommy needs some patience" kind of day. 

One of our busy boxes is full of dried beans. We actually have a few boxes with beans in them, but they have everything you need to make a bean busy box at the dollar store. 

We grabbed a few bags of dried beans, so aluminum baking containers, kitchen utensils, funnels, and some measuring cups, and we were set. 

Here's the result. This keep Luke (4) busy for a solid 30 minutes today (which I call impressive), and Addy (6) headed right to it when she got home from her riding lessons. 

I know it sounds crazy, but I have been letting my kids play with beans since Luke was old enough to know not to put them in his mouth. One of our favorite things to do with them is bury little animals or people in the beans, and dig them out with shovels or spoons. It's a lot of fun. 

So there, you have it. One of my favorite ways to spend my dollars at the dollar store. 

The List of Lovies

We painted a chicken's toenails blue today. You don't need to re-read it. That's what I said. Painted chicken toe nails. Yep. That's the kind of day we had. 

The chicken coop (or the chicken mansion as I have lovingly dubbed it) is almost complete. It should be 100% done tomorrow. But the chickens are sleeping in there tonight, and we got 3 new ones today! Hence, the toenail painting. 

We went to church at 1:00 today which we never do, but Brian was busy working on the coop, and the kids were helping. After church it as naps for the kids and dad and a grocery trip to Target for me, list in hand, headphones plugged in, listening to Ben Rector the whole time. Yes, I'm obsessed. 

When I got home, Brian and Addy headed to Guthrie to buy fresh eggs for $1 a dozen. Seriously. They have a bunch of hens laying right now and an abundance of eggs so they're selling them for $1/dozen. That's crazy. So we splurged and got 3 dozen and 3 new chickens. That's a grand total of 6 chickens. They are cute in a weird dinosaur kind of way. 

We joked about naming them things like Curry (because of them is named Curly, but when Luke says it, it sounds like Curry) and Pad Thai, and KFC. By the way, we have no plans to eat these hens....just their eggs, but we are still big chicken eaters (only the no hormone, no antibiotics kind). But it is a little weird now that we have chicken friends out there. 

Anyways, after all the chicken events of the day, we sat down for dinner and started talking about our lovies. The kids and I had talked about it earlier in the day, so we introduced daddy to the concept, and then we all guessed what his lovies were {and we were right.} 

But for the record....here is a list of our lovies. My list (which is by far the longest) is here. 

Brian's lovies {daddy} 

• cooking 
• dinner with his family 
• hunting (2 weeks in Colorado every year) 
• the mountains 
• chill time on the couch 
•  the beach 
• OU football 
• Thunder basketball 
• wings
• the kids suggested chickens and he said, they might be his lovies, but since he's been working on the coop for 12 days straight, he's not sure yet

Addy's lovies

• Art 
• reading 
• riding horses
• the mountains 
• special dates with daddy
• getting her nails done with mommy 
• flowers (picking them and having them in the house)
• dinner at a restaurant 
• ice cream!

Luke's lovies:

• sword fighting 
• wrestling (he said wrestling and sword fighting are the same since they are both fighting) 
• snuggling 
• Unpluggits (a fun paint and play kid place in our town) 
• music 
• reading (he said this is not one of his lovies, but he loves doing it) 
• special dates with mom or dad
• picking out a new toy
• ice cream

I'm looking forward to adding to these lovey lists as we all change and grow, but I'm also excited about intentionally serving and loving my family by making sure they have these things frequently. 

I think I should mention that lovies are by no means going to bring you peace and joy, only Jesus Christ can do that. But they are things of this world that we can delight in while we're here. They can make you happy and comfort you temporarily, but by no means do I want you to think that a list of lovies will make life great. It won't. The purpose of the lovey list is to know, recognize, and indulge in those things that make you happy. 

Here's to our lovey lists. How do you plan on using yours? 

When you just want to cry

I really just want to cry. 

I tried to think of a million other ways to start this post and a million other things to write about, but it's all I can think about. 

My daughter started 1st grade today at a new school with a new teacher and new friends. I expected to pick her up and for her to be giddy and anxious to tell me about the day, but she was visibly not happy. 

What's a mama to do? It was only the 1st day, and I know there is a lot to cover on the 1st day, but she's 6. She just kept saying that all they did all day was sit and have to listen to the teacher. 

I'm pretty sure we would have a hard time adjusting to anyone after the amazing kindergarten teacher we had last year. She was seriously amazing. Loves kids, incredibly patient, visibly made to teach. I was always in shock and awe when I went to work in her classroom, she was just an incredibly talented and passionate teacher. And after all the crazy school tragedies that went on last year, I never once hesitated to send Addy back to school. I trusted her completely. 

And isn't that what you want? How do you leave your child all day long with someone you don't know? I mean, we met her yesterday at the teacher Meet and Greet. She seemed nice enough. It's hard to get a grasp of someone in 20 minutes ya know? She's been teaching for 20 years, and there is going to be a sweet young student teacher in the classroom this semester. And I'm sure it'll be fine. 

But after today, I dunno. Maybe it won't be. 

Addison is laid back and loves school. Absolutely loves it. But her only school experience has involved 2 incredible teachers (for pre-k and kindergarten). And I'm sure this teacher is great. I mean, it's only been one day. I just never expected her to come home feeling the way she did, and it makes this mama's heart sad. 

I mean, we want the absolute best for our children. What if she continues to come home this way? What do i do? I can't let her experience 1st grade unhappy. 

I knew this was going to happen eventually. I just didn't think it would be this soon. 

I know that you can't tell anything after one day. We'll give it some time and see what transpires. Has anyone else ever had a normally happy to go to school kiddo come home unhappy? And what did you do? 

Being a momma is hard. 

A little braver today.....a story of a girl and a horse and fear....again

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach today. I knew she was falling before it happened. She knew she was falling, but she couldn't stop it. 

My 6 year old daughter fell off this horse today. It's her second fall since she's been riding, and I know it won't be her last. Falling off a horse is part of riding a horse. 

What is amazing to me is that she got right back up and rode again. 

I know she was scared when she fell. I know she was a little scared when she got back on, but I'm learning that each of a us have a few things in life that we view as scary but that we're willing to pursue anyways. 

My sweet little girl tried dance and feared the crowd. It wasn't worth the fear to her. She tried piano, and once again, feared the crowd when it came to be recital time. It just wasn't worth the fear. 

But riding is different. She loves riding. I mean, really, really loves riding. It's all she talks about. It's all she wants to do. 

And it's scary, and really scary when she falls, but there are some great things in life that are worth being scared over. 

I was thinking tonight about how courageous she is and about what it means to be courageous. 

Do you have that something in your life? Something that is more important than fear? 

My kids are that to me. They make me be courageous. They scare the crap out of me, but they are worth the fear. When you love someone that much, fear becomes a part of that love. But my babies....they are far more important than the fear. They make me be courageous. 

My business is the same way. I was thinking about how scared I was when I started.

What would people think? 

What if I failed? 

What if no one wanted to buy anything from me? 

What if......

But I had that 20 seconds of insane courage, and I did it, and I never looked back. It seemed worth the fear to me. 

Marriage is the same. What if he leaves? What if he stops loving me? What if it doesn't work out? What if? 

Worth it. Worth every second of the fear. 

Starting a bible study? Same story. What if no one shows up? What if they think I'm crazy? I don't know enough about the Bible....What will I say? Still....worth it. 

Everything that I have ever done that was actually worth doing was surround by a dark cloud of fear. And very slowly, day by day, that fear fades. I don't know that it ever really goes away. I think we just become braver. 

But there are things in my life that I stray away from because I'm afraid. Big things. Real things. 

Like writing a book. Or speaking about something other than Scentsy. I've gotten to a pretty comfortable place where things generally tend to work. I see other things, but I don't go there, because what if I were to fail? 

Today I watched my daughter fall off a horse, be visibly afraid, and then choose to get back up and ride again. And today I decided that I want to be more like her. I want to be brave like she has chosen to be brave. 

And I wonder if there is something in your life that is scary that you stray away from because of the "what ifs." I think we all have something in our lives that would be worth the fear if we would only step out and take a chance. 

My daughter reminded me today that it's worth it to fall sometimes. It's a reminder that great things aren't easy and sometimes we fail while pursuing them. But there are great things that each of us are called to that require us to step outside our fear and be brave. 

Maybe Brene Brown says it best when she says, "The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time." 

Here's to all of us showing up and becoming a little braver.