It changes you

It changes you. 

You don't go into it expecting it to change you, but if you do it right, and you don't quit and you keep going day after day, it changes you. 

I joined this little direct sales company called Scentsy 8 years ago this month. And while I'm completely realistic about the fact that I would have changed in 8 years with or without Scentsy, I don't think I would have changed like this. 

Direct sales changes people. 

That is the most beautiful thing about it. When you do it right, and you're not that annoying "direct sales lady"....you don't want to be her, let's be real.....you change. And you become better and stronger and more of who you're supposed to be. 

And it's beautiful and messy and perfectly imperfect. 

Honestly, there are days when I don't want to do it anymore because it's hard to be your own boss. It's hard to work for yourself. It's hard to do the same thing over and over again for years sometimes. And I've gone through periods when I was really down....where I just wanted to be a mom and nothing else. 

Really, those are selfish and half crazy periods of time. Now, 8 years later, I still want to do this, and I not only want to do it, but I want to do it well. We have been so incredibly blessed. This "business" has been both the high and low point of our marriage and our story. 

I thought that money would make us happy. That's the American dream right? Make the money...buy the house...live the life....and all your dreams will come true. 

Ha. 

But that's not how it goes. It's really quite the opposite. 

We made the money. Paid off our debt. Found and bought the dream house....and lost each other. I remember sitting on the back porch of the house that I thought we would live in forever surrounded by everything I thought we could ever want....a boat, private school for our kids, great clothes, fancy trips, and so on....I remember sitting on that back porch thinking that I wasn't happy. Not in our marriage, not with our life, not with anything. I wasn't "happy." 

All the stuff wasn't doing it for me. 

I think that was the bottom. It wasn't our debt or the postpartum anxiety I went through....it was the money. And it wasn't the lack of it. It was the abundance of it, that put me at the bottom. 

And I don't write all this to talk about how much money we made. Blah. We made good money. But it was the money that would bring us to our knees. 

I used to think that money would fix it all. 8 years later, I learned that only people can fix it all. 

And not a single person. We're all sinners who fail to our flesh far too many times a day. Not a person. But people. Its people who fix people. 

We moved out of that "dream home" just 3 years ago into a home that I never would have dreamed of. It's not perfect by any means. We don't have granite countertops and all our fixtures are brass, but it's a home with room for people. 

And when I want to be my introvert self, I have to remind myself that the walls of a house are only walls. Wood and plaster that will one day crumble. But if I fill the walls. If I fill my home with people, that will never crumble. Because people change people. 

Direct sales has a bad reputation sometimes I think. People don't understand it or think that other direct sales people are just too pushy. But the reason it works is because it's about people. 

This business has changed my marriage and my family and my friends, and it's changed me. Forever. 

Direct sales changes people because it's about people. 

You can't do this well without loving other people. You can't do this well without serving other people. You can't do this well without surrounding yourself with other people. 

As we approach Thanksgiving in the United States, I am so incredibly grateful for the people that Scentsy has brought into my life. And even as I look forward to this week full of food and family and love, it is and will always be different because of Scentsy. 

My family is close. We are the best of friends. I'm exited about them being here this week. I'm overjoyed at the thought of them napping on the couch as we watch football and watch kids chasing chickens in the backyard. But I don't know if it would have felt like this without this thing called Scentsy that we get to do together. And tonight I'm grateful. Incredibly grateful for the people in this "little" direct sales company called Scentsy who have changed me.