Being strong

I've decided that at this stage of living the newborn life, 3 simple daily goals are all I need. 

1. Get dressed (at some point in the day). Anytime is fine. Showers are worth extra points because let's be real, they're not happening everyday.

2. Do a load or 2 of laundry. That's all. I'm not even attempting to put the clothes away. Our laundry room is turning into the family closet for the time being, and I'm perfectly okay with that. 

3. Do the dishes. Simple enough. That involves emptying and loading the dishwasher every day and making sure it runs overnight. 

If I try to add anything else to this list, I just get frustrated and overwhelmed. Miss Lucy likes to eat a lot. I don't remember if my other babies ate this much and I just forgot, or if Lucy is trying to win the fattest Dalke baby prize.

Either way, I feel like I spend a lot of time nursing, so I can't seem to do anything more than the above listed items, and I'm okay with it. 

I know this season is so incredibly short in the big picture even if it seems to be long right now. 

I'm learning a lot from this little babe. She's reminding me that I'm ultimately not in charge (which I need to be reminded of often), and she's a snuggly reminder that this is the last time we get to do this baby thing. Because of that, I'm living in it. 

I'm okay with my spot on the couch and the lack of sleep and the complete lack of routine. I'm okay with all of it. 

And I'm grateful. Amazingly grateful for my husband who so selflessly takes care of everything else that needs taking care of in our house. He's been doing the morning school routine with all the kiddos...making lunches, packing backpacks, signing homework, he's doing all of it. He's cooking dinner (which he usually does anyways) and doing baths and homework and the bedtime routine. And I'm on the couch. Feeding a baby. (Except in the picture below where daddy got to give Lucy her 1st bottle.) 

I'm also grateful to all our amazing friends and family who have stopped by and brought gifts for Lucy and delicious food for the rest of us. Really, you all are amazing. 

I'll be honest, there are moments in every day when I just want to cry. It's mostly from exhaustion but also it's from moments of feeling overwhelmed. It's from trying to do too much and be too much. 

Sometimes our culture tells us we have to do it all and be it all. But right now, I know that my most important job is feeding a tiny baby. It may seem like not a lot or not enough, but right now, it's all I need to do. 

Sometimes we try too hard to do things we aren't supposed to be doing. So I'm not apologizing for my messy house or my delayed text message responses, and I'm resting in doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing in this season. 

Being strong doesn't mean doing it all. Being strong sometimes means being present and doing what you're called to do in each season. 

We're in the middle of the newborn life and I'm living it and loving it.