It's a good thing I like storms, because that saying "when it rains, it pours," has been so very true in our lives lately. 

I don't feel like we're in the midst of a storm, but I do feel like the devil would like me to believe that we are. Today was a day that many people would classify as a storm. 

It started with information about Baby A's bio mom that I didn't want to hear. It quickly moved to the results of my mammogram. They found a very small spot on one of my breasts that they need to do further testing on. The breast specialist made it clear that they were not concerned about it, but because of my genetics, we would need to test it further. 

I'm not worried about it, but it feels like this annoying look into my future where I get tested and re-tested over and over again for the rest of my life because I'm BRCA 1 and 2 positive. 

Oh and as I'm on the phone with the lady at the breast center, I look up at the ceiling in our kitchen and notice a huge water spot. 

Turns out, our water softener machine thing is leaking. I though that maybe that would mean we could get a new kitchen and new floors upstairs, but it actually just meant a $6,000 deductible. 

Bring on the rain. 

I also spent a lot of the day feeling entirely annoyed with the foster care system. You really shouldn't feel like you're under a microscope all the time as a foster family choosing to love a baby. 

And love this baby we do. We're pretty much addicted to him already, and I'm doing my best to ignore the very real possibility that he could move soon, since his time in custody will probably not be short. Everyone agrees he should be with his brother. That really is what's best. 

This afternoon, after crying in the bathroom (it was just a tiny pity party, I promise), Brian encouraged me to take the big kids to Unpluggits to paint and play for a couple hours while he stayed home with Wyatt and Baby A. 

I did it, and while the kids painted, I fell into the gospel. I'm currently doing a beautiful and simple and wonderful study by She Reads Truth called A Study of Justice.  Day 5 of the study was written by Jennie Allen.

I may have cried in the middle of a children's play place over the words she wrote in today's devotional. Maybe. 

First of all, this verse is plastered in the middle of the devotional: 

He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. And you are to love those whoa re foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.  ~Deuteronomy 10:18-19

And Jennie tells a story of how she and her husband prayed a prayer that at times, she has regretted....wanted to take back....but only for moments.

That prayer? "God-we will do anything. "

It's a powerful prayer. It's a prayer that will change a life. It's a prayer that can wreck your life in the best way.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. ~Matthew 16:25 

Jennie explained that after praying that prayer "nothing in their previously sane lives was the same....God led us deeper into the lives of the people He loved and further from the safety of the familiar."

Yeah. That's what I want. And maybe, that's where we are. That's how I felt today....nothing is the same.

BUT......

"Freedom and healing hide in the backwards way God tells us to find life. Die to live. Lose to find. Empty yourself to be filled."

"God is home to us, and helping others find their way home makes our journey have a little less alien feeling."

Yep. That's exactly where I want to be. Wrecked. Changed. Helping others find their way home.
Let's do that.
Bring on the rain.

A Day of Waiting- My 1st Mammogram at 30

When everyone was picking a word at the beginning of this year, I resisted to pick a word simply because everyone else was doing it. I like to be a rebel like that. That is until the Lord placed the word trust on my heart. And He was pretty persistent about it, so I caved and decided to make trust my main goal this year. 

And I have definitely had to trust Him this year. With a BRCA 1 and 2 diagnosis and a journey back into foster care, I have needed to trust Him more than ever this year. 

Today was spent doing a lot of waiting and a lot of trusting. It was the day of doctor's appointments that needed to happen after the whole BRCA discovery. 

So today, I had an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. I had a blood test called a CA125, and I had a clinical breast exam and a mammogram along with a session with a high risk specialist. 

Here's what I learned:

I'm getting pretty good at waiting, and none of it was as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. 

The ultrasound was uncomfortable, but not painful, and the blood test was no big deal at all. 

After those lovely tests, I had to go across the street to the Breast MRI center for my session, mammogram, and breast exam. 

They treated me like a celebrity over there. Apparently my mom and I are the only two people in this particular high risk program (that follows hundreds of women in our area) with both BRCA 1 and 2 mutations. We're like super famous in the boob world. 

I was informed with new research on my gene mutations, a full list of my current options, and an explanation of what to expect in the coming months and years as we continue surveillance. Turns out that I'll have to be super serious about tracking my period since my next appointment (in 6 months) will be for an MRI and it will need to be done during a specific time frame in my cycle when the estrogen in my body is at it's lowest. Tracking my period is now on the To-Do list I guess. 

After the session, I was taken to a room for the clinical breast exam where Sharon was very thorough and explained to me exactly how I need to do my own exams. She was even sweet enough to remind me how how small I am. She assured me that she would still be able to feel things. 

Thanks, Sharon. I appreciate the reminder of my small chest size. 

I actually liked Sharon and couldn't help but smile when she commented on my small size. I was even more impressed with the non-paper gowns. I fully expected those horrid paper sheets they make people wear on TV. Nope. This was a real life, not paper sheet (or maybe it was old curtains or a tablecloth) with a hole in the middle for my head. I really did like it. 

Well, I liked it until they made me wear it to go to "the other side" as they called it, where they do the mammograms. 

You could totally see all of my side as I walked through the office. I'm sure of it. But I walked with pride through that office where I was, by far, the youngest person in the room. 

I had to sit in a waiting room all by myself and watch general hospital while wearing my floral patterned sheet. It seemed like I sat there for hours, but I think it was only 15 minutes. However long it was, it was just long enough to make me so very glad that I have other things to do in the middle of the day besides watch General Hospital (if you're a fan, I'm sorry). 

And suddenly, there was a lady in the doorway. She had obviously come for me since I was the only soul in the room. She said my name anyway, just to be sure, and off we went. 

The room with the mammogram machine in it is quite intimidating. I had to wear a giant and heavy lead skirt around my waist. 

Once the lead skirt was secured, it was time to face the machine. While I did not take this picture, this is exactly what it looks like. 

I've heard mammograms are painful. Maybe that's the case for some, but it wasn't painful for me. Maybe it's the size of my breasts (see above comment) that made it bearable for me. I don't know. 

It was incredibly uncomfortable. Mostly because there is no place to put your face when your boob is smooched in that machine. The hardest part (aside from where you're supposed to put your face) is that you have to hold your breath, and since you don't know what to do with your face, it's hard to hold your breath. If you have nice sized boobs, it may be more painful for you than it was for me. I really don't know. But I know it's short. Very short. Only takes a minute, and it's no big deal, so if you need one, you should go get one. 

And after the boob squishing, I was done. The day of waiting was over. For now. 

I really am learning more and more about waiting on the Lord. I'm not sure I understand where I fit in yet in this BRCA journey, but I'm okay waiting until the Lord shows me where I fit. I trust Him. I trust the process. I trust the journey, so here we go. 

Going nowhere fast

Family Planning Meeting is done but without much progress. I can't tell you much since we're under a confidentiality agreement. But my goal in writing and sharing is to be the voice of foster families. Hopefully you see the joy and pain, frustration and peace that comes from caring for foster babies. 

The system is flawed. There's no secret there. But when you're dealing with real people, it's so hard for there to be black and white answers to everything. It simply doesn't work that way. 

Right now I'm frustrated because we couldn't really have a Family Planning Meeting because there was a key person missing. That's just how it goes sometimes. 

We had to have real conversations about the possibility of the boys being removed from our homes to be placed together. This will probably be a lengthy process, so it's best for the boys to be together. We can't take big brother. I know we can't. We don't have the space, and I don't have the patience to have two 2-year-olds. I don't think the other foster parents want to take Baby A, so it creates a sticky situation. 

There is also the possibility that family members will surface who will want to take the boys. That too is always a possibility when you're dealing with foster kids. 

So we're currently going nowhere fast. Bio mom doesn't have a plan yet. We aren't set up for visitation yet, and there's always the chance that Baby A will be moved. 

But we're trucking along. Baby A is happy, healthy and growing fast, so we're just loving the time we have with him while he's here. 

Being Frustrated.....It's part of the deal

I wish I could encourage those of you who are possibly considering foster care by telling you that you won't be frustrated, and it'll be a smooth process to the end. 

That's just not the case. We have had Baby A in our home for almost a week (tomorrow makes a week), and we finally heard from someone at DHS today. It's a frustrating feeling to not know what's going on. It's literally like being in the dark. 

It's hard to settle when you don't have any idea how long this baby will be a part of your family. 

I wish I could encourage you and tell you that it won't be frustrating, but it will be. There are so many people involved when there are children in DHS custody, and sometimes (a lot of times) things don't get communicated the way they should. 

We literally know nothing about Baby A's bio mom at this point. I know nothing about his past, and that can be a little irritating. 

Tomorrow will be an important day in Baby A's journey. He won't be at the meeting, but bio mom will be there along with a permanency case worker, our Angels case worker, and Baby A's brother's foster parents, as well as a mediator. It's called a Family Plan meeting, and it'll be where we'll find out about why the kids are in custody and what mom's plan is moving forward to work towards getting them back. 

It'll be a hard meeting mostly because it'll be the first time we'll meet bio mom. There are so many emotions that come with meeting the mother of the baby you're loving on and caring for 24 hours a day. There's really nothing easy about it. 

There's sadness, anger, grief, anxiety, and so many more feelings that will come tomorrow. Frustration is simply part of it, however, frustration will not be what keeps me from giving love to this little guy. He deserves love from someone right now. Frustration with the system or not, this is what we're called to do. 

This baby is making me fat

I would like to blame my extra fluff on this baby alone but in reality, there are several factors to consider.

Here is my list of excuses as to why I have not been in the gym recently:

• We have travelled almost every month since April. Traveling will screw up any good workout routine. Seriously. It's wrecked mine. 
• I also like to eat whatever I want to eat and when I'm stressed or overwhelmed, I do things like eat frosting out of the can or m&ms out of a king sized M&M bag. 

So there are those reasons, and there is adjusting to life with a new baby around the house. I'm mostly blaming the baby. He's fun to snuggle with. Why would you workout when you can sit on the couch and snuggle a baby? I mean, really?

But my fluffiness is going to have to change soon because I sort of become a crazy person when I don't work out. Getting back into the routine is just so hard sometimes! 

Today, I broke out my good ole running shoes and spent an hour on the treadmill. Running makes me a much happier person, ya'll. It just does.

As my luck would have it, there is the perfect accountability program starting up September 29th. And the best news.....you can do it too! I'll be working through Claire Peak's Living and Active 5 week Challenge. I love this challenge because it incorporates working out, with scripture memorization, and accountability. What more could you ask for!? 

Head on over to www.peak313.com to find out more about how you can join us. All you have to do right now is find an accountability partner! Oh and did I mention it's free?! Sure is. I hope you'll join us. 

What we're watching this Fall

I feel like I should disclaimer this post by telling you that I'm not a huge TV watcher. This will definitely make me look like a TV watcher, but I swear I don't watch that much TV.

Brian loves TV (yes, I'm blaming him) so TV time has kind of become our snuggle time. We have several shows we watch together. It's kind of like a mini date night every night. It helps us turn off "work mode" and just be for a while. 

Our must-sees are Castle and Elementary. Love them both. If I had to pick a 1st place, it would be Castle, but only by a teeny bit.

We also love Modern Family, Person of Interest (that could probably go to the must-see list), The Blacklist, Duck Dynasty, and Trophy Wife. 

Brian watches a few others that I have to watch by default, but they're not must-sees for me. He likes Alaska the Last Frontier. Sometimes we catch Shark Tank.

I'm excited because shows are officially starting back up! Yeah for Fall TV! 

What are your must-sees? I'm sort of super nosy when it comes to what other people watch. So spill.

It's worth the risk

We're in that transition phase where I'm getting used to four little people needing me at all hours of the day. Three little people is a lot. Four is even more. So I'm trying to remember what life is like with four kids who always need something. 

It's doable and joy filled, there is just a transition that needs to take place. I have to remember to love my babies the best that I can. I have to give them the best of me, all while loving on this baby who needs love and a good fattening up, all at the same time. 

Foster care brings it challenges, but there is also peace that comes in obedience. Our desire to foster came directly from scripture. There are numerous references to caring for orphans and the fatherless, but my favorite comes from James 1:27:

27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

When the Lord placed foster care on our hearts more than 2 years ago, I took the calling as a challenge. That may or may not have been the best way to go about it, but that's really how I thought of it in my head....Are you challenging me? Sure. I'm game. Let's do this.

I don't necessarily think of foster care as a challenge now. I consider it more of a necessity. The way I was blessed through our first foster care experience is nearly indescribable. I was broken and changed and made new in the best kind of way.

And I selfishly want that again. I want Him to wreck me. I want Him to break my heart. I want to remember what it's like to hurt and to feel.

In a world where we are so easily jaded because everyone is walking a rough battle and everything is hard sometimes, I want to know first hand what it is to yearn for Christ....to yearn for Heaven.

When I let myself think about Baby A and his young momma and his brother, my heart wants to break into a million pieces. The reality of foster care is crappy. I hate that it has to exist. But it does exist because we are broken people in a broken world who desperately need Christ.

I can't fix anyone or any situation, but what I can do is love. And maybe that's all I can do. But since loving is what we've been called to do, I will love bravely. I won't hold back my heart. I will love my babies and this baby, and I will love his momma and his brother, and my heart might break, yes. But it's worth the risk. It's always worth the risk. He's worth the risk.

There's a baby sleeping in my closet

There's a baby sleeping my closet, and I can't find my panties in the dark. {Don't tell my case worker....I'll tell her myself....I swear.} 

But there seriously is a baby sleeping in my closet, and it is inhibiting my ability to find clothes and put away laundry. 

And I will tell my case worker because it's a temporary situation. It's actually a pretty sweet pad in there. He's got a fan (and there's heat and air in there), and it's nice and dark and quiet, and I'm jealous of it. 

It's a temporary fix. Since we have no idea how long Baby A will be here, we haven't decided where he should live.  Once we find out more about bio mom's plan, we'll be able to make a better decision about where Baby A should stay. 

We're loving every second with him. He's a bundle of joy. I don't know how we got such a laid back and easy baby. He might be sleeping in my closet, but he's sneaking into my heart a little more everyday. 

Oh and it's worth mentioning that Wyatt is re-living his baby days by trying out all of Baby A's gear. Stinker.

Living by Grace

I can't get words to come tonight. Maybe there are so many words rolling around inside my head that I just can't narrow them down. It's a possibility. I'm not sure.

I know that this morning I felt like a rockstar mom, but by 7:00 tonight, I was eating buttercream icing out of a can with a spoon. But that's okay. I've learned that rockstar moments come and go, and I'm just grateful I had one today. 

I've also learned that stretching is hard. And while comfort is easy, it's also boring, and boring annoys me. So I try not to do boring.

I can assure you that there is nothing boring happening around here. 

We're all adjusting to life with baby A around. He seems to be easily adjusting. It's the rest of us who need the adjusting. 

Our kids are adjusting well so far. It's sweet to watch the ways each of them love on Baby A in their own way.

Tonight, on a Scentsy online training, my sister-in-law asked me what advice I had for the consultants on our team who are working towards earning a trip. I didn't have specific advice tonight. Just advice on life in general.

I think I said something along the lines of re-assess everyday, start over when necessary, and hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection. It's true in business, and it's true in life. 

And that's where we are today. Forgetting about perfection.....living smack dab in the middle of grace.....with lots and lots of do overs when needed. 

Baby A

My phone rang at 9:06 as I was sitting in the dentist's office with an excited 7-year-old and a ticked off 5-year-old. We can't all love the dentist. 

It was my case worker, and I intentionally silenced the phone knowing that I couldn't process whatever she had to tell me, and tend to a screaming little boy at the same time. I knew it was probably about a placement. 

A text came next confirming my thoughts that it was a call about a placement. It was exactly that.

I sent a quick text back explaining that I was dealing with a "situation" at the dentist's office. I told her I would call her when I got finished or that she could call Brian and give him the scoop. 

Then the text from Brian came..."I got a call from L (I'm shortening her name for safety and privacy), she has a potential placement for us. Call me when you can." 

Through a couple more texts, I found out more details. A boy. 5 months old. (And more details that I'll leave out for privacy and safety reasons).

L and I finally talked after Luke was calmed down (thanks to a corn dog from Sonic....and no, I did not let him get a toy from the treasure chest at the dentist because he did not cooperate at all) and the kids were dropped off at school. I voiced my concerns about the placement, and then said, yes. 

We agreed to meet at noon and by 2:00, baby A was in our car headed home. I wish you could see his big grin! He smiled the minute we walked into the room. So far, he's happy and pretty relaxed. We're praying for a night full of sleep for everyone, but we'll see how that goes. 

Right now, could you pray for baby A's health? He needs to fatten up a bit, and we're working hard on that, and he has some healing to do as well from a little infection. Your prayers for those things would be much appreciated. 

I promise to grab a few pictures of his sweet little hands and head and feet tomorrow. I hate that you can't see his face, but that's just how it is. 

Thank you for loving us. We're all settled in. 5 in bed, 1 to go....I'm headed that way.  

Expectant in Hope

I spent the day cleaning and re-arranging. I desperately wanted to buy pumpkins at the grocery store, and then I forgot. 

My keyboard doesn't want to work the way it usually does. I have to hit some keys multiple times to make them work. I'm blaming the little guy that lives with us. He really likes to bang on keyboards. 

I want to wear boots and sweaters and go to the pumpkin patch, but as I type that, I remember that I usually wear a tank top to the pumpkin patch and sweat through the whole experience. 

I want to sit and breathe and rest, but I haven't today, until now. 

And here I find myself, letting my brain fall out on a page. Anticipating what's coming. Unsure. Scared. And expectant in hope. 

Tomorrow our home will officially be open again as a foster home. 

That means that we'll probably have a baby in our home in the less than 24 hours. A baby that's not ours, but that we'll love as ours. A baby with baggage and a past and possibly a defining moment that I'll never be able to erase no matter how much I love him or her.

Tomorrow I'll hold a baby that isn't mine but that I'll wonder if it ever could be. Could she be ours? Could he be ours? I won't be able to help it. I'll think it. 

Tomorrow we'll welcome a baby into our home that I will fight for. I will fight for restoration. I will fight because that's what every baby deserves. 

Tomorrow we'll fall in love with a baby that we may never watch grow up......that we may never see once she or he leaves our home. But we'll love anyways. We'll love bravely....without holding anything back. No one deserves guarded love. We all need love that is brave enough to love all of us. Every bit of us. The good, the bad, the beautiful....the things we can't change. 

As I type these words, my soul converses with the Lord about what's to come. Protect that baby. Guard it's heart. Cover it in your love. And then bring it to us. And show us what to do.

Lead us. 

Guide us. 

Break our hearts. 

Change us. 

We yearn to be more like you. 

My heart aches over the possibility of love to come. My heart aches over the possibly of heartbreak. And knowing it all, I know that you know so much more than I do. I know you had this all planned out. I may not see it immediately, but you have been doing a good work.....a great work....behind the scenes. Cover us in your grace. Cover our home in your peace. Protect us from the schemes of the devil. We feel him lurking while we feel you fighting for us. 

We trust you. 

Lead us. 

And tell a story so great that only you could get the glory for it. 

We are nothing without you. We love you. 

Is there fear? Absolutely. 

Is there doubt. Of course. 

Do we feel qualified. No. A million times no. 

But we're doing it anyways. Because tomorrow our home will officially be open as a foster care home, and even though we have rather narrow age limits (younger than Wyatt), we will most likely be placed tomorrow because there are babies in my state and in your state and all over America who need a home to sleep in tonight. 

And if we don't do it, who will? 

The need is great. The reward is greater. Peace. Change. Complete trust in the Lord. Those are the rewards. 

The first time we had foster babies in our home, I got rocked in the most gut-wrenching way. My world was flipped around, and suddenly I was different. I was different because I loved and rocked two babies who weren't mine.

I will never forget the day they showed up on my doorstep, and I will never forget the day they left. And I will never be the same. Ever. 

Broken. Wrecked. Messed up. I was all those things. 

And after 6 months, I was changed. Different. New. 

And tomorrow begins something new.

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.  ~Isaiah 43:19 

So tonight, I rest, expectant in hope. 

Oh How I Love Love Mail

About this time every month, I start running reports and looking at who the top sellers and recruiters on my team were for the previous month. My favorite way to provide recognition for them is by sending a little love mail. There is nothing like a real note in the mail that isn't a bill or an advertisement. Happy mail in a mailbox makes everyone's day feel a little brighter. 

Because I love all things love mail, I love looking for stationary and encouraging notes. I recently stumbled across Tiny Prints personalized stationary. I've ordered invitations from Tiny Prints many times, but I'm now also loving their colorful and high quality notes. 

Since I had 2 girls on my team qualify for a free trip to Cancun, I had to find a fun way to recognize them. These You=Amazing cards were perfect! They loved them so much that they posted their goodies on social media as soon as they received them. 

I also used the same cards to send out thank you notes for my customers too, so it has multi-use!

I love a good card and all that love mail. What's your go-to when it comes to sending cards and love mail? If you're looking for something new, check out tinyprints.com. Whatever you use, send some love mail this week, and make someone's week.

A business launch and a Pittsburgh Pirates game

Our time in Pittsburgh (though brief) has been wonderful. We were welcomed to the city by the simply breathtaking view of the skyline and the river after coming thru a long tunnel on our way to the hotel. 

I had no idea this city was so beautiful. 

We settled into the Omni hotel last night (very, very late) and ordered room service for dinner. I caught up on some writing and work while Brian caught up on some TV time. 

After dinner, we hit the sack and planned to sleep in until we woke up, and we did. We awoke to a rainy day in Pittsburgh. 

We took our time getting dressed and ready for the day and then headed out to find some food. On the road, we found this mural on a wall featuring Brian's great uncles, the Waner brothers (Paul and Lloyd) who played on the Pirates World Series team from 1927-1942. 

We ended up a little bakery called Food Glorious Food where we indulged in quiche, coffee, and macaroons. It was delightful. 

And then it was time to head to the Launch Party! Ondrea and Leslie had a great turnout! There was great food and great people and several people who are now starting their own Scentsy businesses. It was fantastic. Ondrea even created a Powerpoint presentation to tell the story of how we met at Atlantis on the Leap of Faith slide. I'm so excited for her and Leslie as they start their businesses and build their teams. 

Ondrea treated us with Pirates tickets, so shortly after the party, we headed out to grab a bit to eat and watch the game. We had our first experience with Pierogis (delicious dumplings of some sort), and we had to order fish and chips. 

The Pirates stadium is stunning (if it's even possible for a baseball stadium to be glorious). It overlooks the river, and the cheap seats have the best view in the house, so we trekked all the way to the top to see it for ourselves. 

We had a great time at the game, but had to head back to the hotel to watch as much of the OU game as possible. I'm writing while watching the game and trying to keep Brian awake (it's been a long week). 

I have to admit that I'm anxious to close my eyes so that I can see my babies tomorrow. It's glorious to travel and have time to ourselves, but the best part about it is missing our babies and our life and everything that goes along with it.....the crazy, the mess, the noise, the love. I want all that back, and I can't wait for tomorrow. 

We're Headed to Pittsburgh and our Home Study Was Approved!

I am literally writing (and posting) from over 10,000 feet aboard a Southwest airplane headed from Boise, Idaho to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. 

It was been a very long and amazing week in Boise, and now we're making our way to Pittsburgh to do a business launch party for a few new girls joining our Scentsy family. We are so excited to have them, and we're really excited to be heading their way to help them get started. 

I told Brian that we should pretend this is a little weekend getaway, so we're sipping vodka tonics on the plane while I catch up on writing and he watches free TV on his phone. It's a happy place for both of us. 

Yesterday's post was so long that I didn't get to tell you about my favorite night of SuperStar Director Summit. Our free nights are always my favorite. We take over the hotel lobby and do nothing but catch-up, share, and laugh a lot. 

Last night was no different. We didn't have as many free nights this year, so we had to do our best to make up for that by making our last night together truly epic. 

If I had to narrow last night down to one emotion, it would be joy. We enjoy each other so very much. We come from all walks of life, numerous religions, and from all across the U.S. and Canada, and when we're together, we're simply family. 

I love these people so much! Have you gathered that yet? I think I've said it a million times over. 

On another note.....an exciting one.....our home study was approved today. Which means, we could get a foster baby any day now. 

For about two seconds, I was overwhelmed, but I'm not anymore. Traveling today has reminded me that this year was (and is) about trust and being brave. I trust the Lord's timing. I know He has a child picked out for us. And it has not escaped my mind that our foster care processes happened in the middle of our BRCA diagnosis. I don't know what that means, and I am not assuming at all. But I trust that the Lord has a baby that will fit into our lifestyle and mesh with who we are. We will work towards reunification as long as that is the goal, but we also won't be close minded about other possibilities. 

At this point, we're simply trusting. Trusting the Lord's timing and understanding. I can't wait to see where this adventure takes us. 

One adventure down. Another one to come.