Growing up, my nickname was Grace. It was not one of those "you are so grace-filled" kind of nicknames but rather one of those "you are such a klutz" kind of nicknames.

Ironically I spent the majority of my afternoons as a junior high and high school student in a dance studio.....teaching littles how to tap dance and point their toes and learning how to get rid of teenage emotion with nothing but a wood floor, a ballet barre, and music.

I learned a lot about myself on the dance floor.

Unfortunately for me, the rest of my free time in high school was too often spent with boys. I wouldn't call it "boy crazy." I think it was more of me "looking for love in all the wrong places" as the song so appropriately goes.

And ironically, I also spent nearly every Sunday morning at church.

I grew up in a Methodist church believing that I was going to heaven because I was confirmed and baptized. I didn't read my bible. I had about a zero prayer life, and God was rarely talked about in my house.

But I thought that I was golden.

The reality was that I had no relationship with Christ and had no clue what the word "grace" actually meant.

I also had no clue that when I was 19, my one day husband would give me the first bible that I would really delve into with my name delicately etched on the cover in silver shiny ink.

Nor did I know that 4 years later, my daughter would enter into this world and we would appropriately name her Addison Grace, partly because of my ironic high school nickname and largely because of what the Lord had done in our lives and would continue to do in our lives.

You see, grace is it.

It's all that really matters.

I had it wrong in high school thinking that if I did this and did that and I checked all the appropriate boxes, I would be saved.

It doesn't work like that.

When I look at my life now I wonder how I ever thought I could have been enough for heaven. I couldn't have. And neither can you.

That's where Jesus enters the picture.

We are not good enough.

We can't ever "do" enough.

You can't earn grace.

It was a gift given to world full of sinners freely. No chains attached.

Jesus entered the world to live a perfect life and die a sinless death so that all of us, a world full of undeserving people, would be able to be free in Christ.

And the key to it all? Grace.

He extends it to us over and over and over again because we will never measure up. And it's not our faults. We live in a world full of sin. There are no perfect people. But the good news is, His love is deep and wide and it covers us. Every time. Through every mistake and every slip up.

His grace covers us.

So if you're tired of trying to do it all and trying to measure up to what the world wants you to be. Stop. The world is broken and weary because of sin. You can't measure up to what you think your life should look like.

Entering into a relationship with Christ will not make you perfect or mistake free. Far from it actually. That's why the Christian world often gets a bad rap as so called hypocrites. Just because you enter into a relationship with Christ does not mean you'll never mess up again. It means that garce will follow you wherever you go.

It's not a crutch, but a peace that can cover you. You'll still mess up. You'll still never quite measure up, but what you can do through the power of Christ in you, is so much more than what you can do on your own.

There are no works that can get you to Him. There is only a relationship. An acknowledgment that Christ was the son of God and that he died on a cross for you and for me.

It's a lot to grasp, I know. But the Lord is pursuing you. He reveals himself to all of us.

Forget about denominations and religion. You can't work your way to heaven, but you can let the spirit of the Lord work through you.

If you want to know more about the grace that covers all your sins both past, present and future, and a God who wants you as you are, I would love to pray with you. Message me on facebook or send me an email.

It's grace that covers us. Grace and grace alone.

Listen to this song about God's love, and be sure to tune into the Bible series tonight on the History channel at 8/7c.

In [Christ] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.                                                  Ephesians 1:7 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.     Romans 8:1 

 


 

 

Settling in

My house smells sweet. Of fruit. Kiwi and cantaloupe to be exact.

There is a canvas that my sister painted hanging in the hallway leading to my bedroom that I am keenly aware needs to be raised a good 6 inches.

I finally put a lamp, a few books, and a Scentsy warmer over the mantle in my bedroom.

And after too many months and a daily schedule that doesn't seem to allow for pictures to be hung on the walls, I'm settling in.

This house is starting to feel like home.

{Except when the heat or air is on, when it continues to smell like something died or sewer or trash. I can't quite put my finger on it.}

But besides that unaccounted for smell, this house feels like home.

There is a Bradford Pear right outside the front door covered in beautiful white blossoms, and every night at dusk the sky turns a beautiful pinkish orange color.....seriously every night.

Our neighbor across the street told us that our house sits on one of the highest points in Oklahoma county which apparently equals beautiful sunsets every night. I have no clue if that's true or not, but I'll take it.

As I'm typing, I'm wishing I had this urge and desire and yearning that I have right now to write every single night. I love looking back over my year of writing. There are so many memories. So much life lived and recorded.

It's weird how it comes and goes with me.

But back to the house.....

For someone who loves to entertain (one of my spiritual gifts is hospitality), it's taken me much longer than usual to settle in. I'll blame that on the precious little upstairs who happens to be stirring at the moment.

It feels good to settle in. It feels good to feel like home....even if that baby is waking up at midnight. : )

The least of these

Lately I have had this "I can do so much more" itch.

Not in terms of doing busy things throughout the day, but doing things to make a difference. I don't feel like I'm sacrificing much right now.

I think you could easily call me a dreamer. In my good moments, I have these lofty thoughts about doing these great things to change the world. I think it's that childlike view of being able to fix things.

Couldn't we just fix things by loving more, hating less, letting the Lord truly lead us.

But as adults, we know that it's not as easy as it sounds or looks. So when I have these feelings....when I get the itch to do something great, I have to write it down. Express it. Remember it.

I love my work. Seriously love it. I love the relationships I have built, the lives that I have helped to change. I love all those things. But I also look at my work as a tool to do great things. Greater things than what we're doing.

Our business has given us resources and time and courage, and it has made us better people. No doubt about it.

And I want to use those resources and time and that bravery that I have to do great things. Don't get me wrong. I know full well that being a mom and loving my children well and raising them to be followers of Christ is enough and more than enough. But I just feel like I can do more.

I think I often get in this slump because I know there is more that I can do, but I'm often not willing to sacrifice the time or energy to do it.

I know that I can do more and be more. It will just require more discipline on my part.

I love discipline, routine, a plan. I thrive in it.

I realize that I'm just rambling. And I'm perfectly fine with that. If rambling is what gets me writing again, then so be it.

All this thought of great things was jump started by our foster babies new foster momma texting me about some of the things they are walking through right now.

The day those babies showed up on my front porch truly changed my life. It made me a different person. And many of you walked through so much of our daily struggles of having 4 children under the age of 5 by following along here.

I was challenged, frustrated, in love and scared all in a second. And there is a huge part of me that wants to walk it all again.

I am beyond frustrated at the foster care system at this moment knowing what our babies are going through. The system makes me crazy. I don't understand it.

But I will never in a million years forgot their faces when I opened the door the first time. And I will forever be changed by them.

As Brian and I listened to this song over and over again tonight, he said to me, "Does this make you want to foster again?" And my answer was immediate..."Yes. I have no doubt that I want to again. No doubt."

I don't know when. But maybe soon.

I know that we all walk busy, busy lives. But I have to ask....how could you be greater? Yes, it would take sacrifice. And yes, it would be uncomfortable and maybe even painful, but as a follower of Christ, I know that the Lord never promised me it would be easy. But He did promise me that He would never leave me nor forsake me.

After all, Life is either a great adventure or nothing at all.

I'll take a white picket fence with a slice of imperfection on the side, please

One of my biggest problems is that I battle with wishing I had or did what other people have or do.

Anyone else?

I went to that networking luncheon today and I had to prep myself before walking in the door.

I knew that the house would be beautiful. I knew that the hostess would be well put together. I knew that there was a chance that jealousy would cloud my afternoon.

So I prepped myself.

I promised myself that I would not compare. I promised myself that I would not lust. Period.

And low and behold! You know what happened?! I didn't!

Yes, the house was beautiful. And yes, the hostess looked great. And yes, the food was delicious, and I felt welcomed and well cared for while there.

But while sitting in the living room with a dozen or so other women all involved in small businesses, it became so utterly clear to me that we're all just human. We're all doing our best with our circumstances, with our current situations, and regardless of how we look on the outside, there is a little side of imperfection to us all.

And it was incredibly comforting.

When we can take away the false assumption that we're going to live a life encircled by a white picket fence and acknowledge that the fence is just a false representation of an idyllic and carefree life that none of us really led, we can be free to be authentic and real with those around us.

When we pretend that the white picket fence exists in our life and everything is as it should be always, what we're really doing is making others feel less about themselves.

Look, none of us have it together. Everyone walks a tough road at some time or another, but there is a lot of freedom in remembering that we're all human.

Comparison and jealousy will kill your business, your faith, and your self esteem in an instant.

So just remember, no matter how straight and perfect the fence looks, there is a side of imperfection to all of us. And honestly, that's what I love about people. We all have a story. We all have a fear. We all have a battle to fight and a victory to win.

There is nothing wrong with a white picket fence. I just prefer mine with a side of imperfection.  

Inspired

So I think it was 2 weeks ago roughly when I told you I was going to start writing again....remember that?

And I haven't done it. I'm chalking it up to having a new baby and being in a new house....and all sorts of other excuses.

The reality is, I consider myself a writer. I know that I am best at being me when I'm writing, yet I don't do it.

Today I was surprisingly and unexpectedly inspired in the strangest way.

I went to a networking luncheon, and found myself surrounded by a group of amazing women, and there was something in my heart that leapt a little.

I am usually the inspirer. I am usually the one who gives the pep talks, and encourages people, and loves on people. And today I felt encouraged in the strangest way. I really can't explain it other than it was a good feeling and a good vibe.

My soul was quietly reminded that I have more to give in the best kind of way.

I am by no means perfect nor will I ever claim to be, but I am strong and smart and good at a few good things. There are things that I love and love well. And there is more that I want to share.

So I think it's time to forgo my constant commitments to write and just start writing. Whatever it looks like, I just need to do it.

So there. I was inspired today. I was reminded today. And I remembered that I want and need to write.

So there you have it. Writing. I'm doing it. Enough said.

Behind the Scenes

I have lately been so bombarded with the lie of perfection that I think I mentioned a few days ago.

The Lord has been working on me so much over the past week when it comes to tearing down the wall of lies built up around me concerning perfection.

Our pastor, Craig Groeschel, just wrote a new book called Altar Ego that is about becoming who God says we are. He mentioned in his 1st sermon over the book on Sunday how we are constantly comparing our "behind the scenes" to everyone else's highlight reels.

No one ever takes pictures of their dirty house to post on facebook. There are only pictures of smiling kids on instagram. From the pictures many of us post on social media, you'd think we all have it together all the time.

But this is so far from the truth. It's one of the lies the devil would like us to believe.....everyone else is perfect....you're the only one who can't get it together.

They're all lies. But we walk around believing them. We keep comparing our worst to everyone else's best. That's not fair at all.

So to combat this issue, I thought I should show you some behind the scenes.

This is my laundry room on Sunday night. Days and days worth of clothes. In my "perfect" world (the one I would post about on facebook) I would do a load of laundry a day and those clothes would get put away every night and all would be perfect inside our picket fence. Ha!

But it doesn't work that way. I do 1-2 loads a day, but they don't always get put away. That's just the reality. So instead of feel bad about it, I decided to come up with a plan that would end in a "small win" for me. A small win is something that is easily done that helps you feel better about the work you've done and the time you've invested in something. (Small wins also work great in your business, but that's a post for another day). 

 

My small win looks like this: Every Sunday, I know there is going to be a collection of clean clothes in the laundry room. So instead of beating myself up about the things I'm not doing every day of the week (putting away the clean clothes), I come up with a plan that allows me to win in the end.

Sunday is my zero out day. That means everything starts over at zero on Sunday. I may not get the clean laundry put away throughout the week, but I know that on Sunday I will. When it all gets put away on Sunday, it becomes a small win for me. I feel good about what I've done, and I have a fresh start to my week.

I know this sounds so simple. But I think we too often beat ourselves up about what we think we should be doing instead of searching out systems that work better for us.

I've had a long standing tradition of synching all my calendars on Sunday. You may know this from the Sunday 7 and Daily Planning posts I've made in the past. Every Sunday, I sit down and plan out all those "small wins" I want to make happen throughout the week. Every Sunday is a fresh start with a new plan and a new perspective. 

So from here on out, I'm done with the race to perfection. Instead I'm focused on those small wins that lead to larger wins that ultimately lead to a life well lived.

My small win goals this week are:

• make the bed everyday this week
• run 5x 
• write 3x
• get in God's word 5x 
• make memories with my kids
• love my husband
• do today well (everyday) 

They're little things that matter so much.

Where would you like to see small wins in your life this week? Remember that small wins lead to bigger wins, and when we focus on the small wins, we eliminate the desire to reach perfection.

Screw perfection. Doing today well is all that really matters. 

It's time

I think it's time.

I have been battling this weird pressure about writing lately. It's why I haven't written in so long.

I've been worried about what I write being good.

Since when have I cared about that?!

I think before, it was all about this pact I had with the Lord. I would write every day. No matter what. That pact took away all the pressure of being perfect (or even making sense for that matter).

Maybe I've been struggling with the lie of perfection in everything lately.

3 months post baby, I think I need my body back, and my routine back, and normalcy back. (What is normalcy anyway?)

But thanks to a good friend, I feel better tonight about the lie that perfection is.

I spoke at Spring Sprint 2 days ago, and I have not felt good about my presentation at all. I don't know why, but I got uncharacteristically nervous. Then as I was walking out on stage, the paramedics wheeled out a woman on a stretcher. (I seriously didn't know what to do!), and I just got all thrown off my speaking game.

I think I made a couple bad jokes, and then I had no good closure at all. I think I literally said something to the effects of "and that's all I have."

Seriously?!

Come on! I'm like a champion at good closes.

I should have just closed the thing out in prayer....but ya know, we can't always be on our A game I guess.

Anyways, I just have been feeling less than great about my presentation.

And then tonight, a good friend posted on my facebook page about how impacted her team was by the presentations at Spring Sprint, and how they've been booking parties like crazy! (which is what I talked about). And I suddenly felt so much better about myself, and the words I shared, and everything else.

It's amazing to me how much impact one person's words can have.

And it made me realize, that it's time to put words on a page again.

Not because I have anything brilliant to say, but simply because I love to write.

Looking back at my year of writing, I was completely changed by the process of writing and being open to what the Lord had for our family. So I think it's time again.

Time to be open and honest and encouraging and helpful and real.

That's all I really want to do.

You may never learn how to craft on this blog. But hopefully you'll realize that there are other people out there like you with the same struggles and doubts and fears, and that when we do life together, we're a lot more powerful against all that evil that comes our way.

The lie of perfection is what keeps us closed up and afraid to share. And when we stay closed up and don't share, we start to believe that no one else understands what we're going through or that no one else has the same struggles we do. And all those things are lies.

I'm not guaranteeing you anything close to perfection in my words. Don't expect it.

But you can expect my words to be real and honest and open.

A mom, a wife, a friend, a business owner, a teacher, a student, a child of God. That's all I know how to be. And I don't do any of them perfectly, but I do all of them the best that I can.

And in these words will lie the story of them all.

It's time to begin again.....let's kill the lie of perfection together....won't you join me?