So, I know that many of you are Scentsy peeps, and many of you are heading to Las Vegas (some of you are already there!).

Thanks to a wonderful friend, I just found a great book that I'm already loving.

It's called The Pumpkin Plan and it's written by Mike Michalowicz. I just picked it up today, and if I didn't have a million things to do in preparation for our Vegas trip, I would be done with it.

It's awesome. I love its simple business concepts, and I think it would be greatly beneficial to so many of you, especially as we welcome another brand to the Scentsy line this week!

So, if you need something to read on the plane or while you're at home waiting for all the social media buzz, pick up a copy of The Pumpkin Plan. I snagged the last copy at the Barnes and Noble in OKC, but I'm sure you can find one somewhere.

You can check out the Pumpkin Plan official website here or you can get a copy for $12.99 to read in ibooks here. You can also order a hardcover copy of the book from Amazon here for $16.72 or get a copy to read on your Kindle here for only $12.99.

Happy reading.

.....day 345 of a year of writing.....

Why?

There are days that I have flat out asked, "Why would You lead us into something so hard?"

I love Him and He already knows what I'm thinking, so why not ask? And I have, over and over again.

He seems to be silent on the issue, never really wanting to offer up an explanation.

It's not fostering itself that's hard. It's that we went from two to four overnight, and the majority of the time, the four of them don't get along. My two get along. The two babies get along, but you put all four of them together and someone is always fighting.

I have even flat out told Him on many occasions that I don't want to do this anymore, and there are many, many days that I don't want to anymore. I'm just tired. And I miss my kids. I miss them during quiet times when we would snuggle. I miss the attention they used to give me and I used to give them.

And I miss my husband. I miss him so incredibly much that writing that brings tears to my eyes. He is incredibly present in all of this. He is the sail that keeps this ship on course every single day. Since we've found out that I'm pregnant, he wakes up with the babies every morning and feeds (and sometimes dresses) everyone while I get a few extra zzzs.

In the evening when everyone is finally in bed and the house is picked up and we've both fulfilled the day's tasks, we are so tired that we barely get to talk about the day. Raising four babies is exhausting. There just isn't a better word for it.

I have never missed my husband like this. It is so strange to miss him so much when he's often right next to me.

We haven't been as adamant about date nights lately, not because we're not trying, but because we're busy and it's hard to find a sitter. And as a result, I miss him, and I miss us.

And in the midst of all that missing, I miss lots of other things....like normal life. I miss my life. I miss the freedom of only having to worry about my kids. I miss downtime and relaxation. I miss my patience and my sanity.

And I pray often that my children won't remember me like this. I don't want them to feel this burden. I don't want them to be stressed or sad or impatient or angry.....all things that I feel and am on a daily basis.

And I keep asking, "Why would You bring us into something so very hard?" But when I ask, He's silent.

I don't doubt that it was these babies and this family and this mom that we were meant to help. I have no doubt about it at all. And even if it were only for this mom, then it is worth it.

But, I still wonder. There are many times I have even told Him that I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to. But every time I say that, every time I plead for him to take it away, all that comes from the other end is peace.

He has asked us to walk this very path, and I'm sure it's for a very specific reason, but there are days that this entire fostering experience sums up to being the hardest thing we have ever done, and we walked into it willingly.

But, I'm learning. I'm learning about grace. I'm learning about my absolute NEED for the Lord. I need Him like I need water. I need Him daily. And I have learned how to ask for help. I've learned how to rely on other people. I've learned how to say, "I just can't do this." And the body of Christ has responded. I've learned what a church family is. And that one pushes me over the edge and makes tears fall silently down my face. It is the most beautiful blessing anyone could ever ask for.

It's not about the building or the "church" itself, it's about the people who have given so much for us. They have never once looked at me like I'm crazy as I drag four small children into church by myself. They have never asked why we would do it or told us that maybe it was too much for us to handle. They have only loved us. They have only supported us. They have only encouraged us. I can't begin to describe to you what the women in my life group and the staff at our church and all the other people at church that we have grown to know and love have given to us. The love of Christ. Prayers at the right time. Support at the right time. Food at the right time. They have simply given. And it has been more than enough.

This adventure cannot be described as anything else but an adventure. There are days I want to turn around and go home, but I know the end of the journey will be one glorious site.

We're being stretched. We're being changed. We're on the greatest adventure of our lives.

Pain isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes pain simply means that God is doing something great inside you.

.....day 243 of a year of writing.....

The Laziest Day Ever

Well, so much for me not waiting until the end of the day to write. It's 12:25. My kiddos went to bed around 11:30, our house is still a Christmas mess, and Brian and I can't peel ourselves off the couch.

We have been completely engrossed for the entire day.

Well, almost the entire day.

I started off my first day of not working by working. Of course I did! But there were a few things I needed to get taken care of before I could really take off.

So, with Christmas presents finally on their way to a few of my downline, I decided it was time to relax.

On Christmas Eve I started reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. The plot:

Katniss is a 16-year-old girl living with her mother and younger sister in the poorest district of Panem, the remains of what used be the United States. Long ago the districts waged war on the Capitol and were defeated. As part of the surrender terms, each district agreed to send one boy and one girl to appear in an annual televised event called, "The Hunger Games." The terrain, rules, and level of audience participation may change but one thing is constant: kill or be killed. When Kat's sister is chosen by lottery, Kat steps up to go in her place. 

My best friend and I always exchange books for Christmas. She always has great fiction recommendations and I always offer up my latest Christian book title or business book. (Don't I sound exciting?!)

This year she got The Hunger Games for me. I know I've seen it on the bestsellers' list, but I've never picked it for myself for some reason.

Now I know why. You have to have the time to read the stupid thing because it is beyond addicting!

So far, I am through the first two books of the trilogy and just started the third. (Yes, this is all within the past three days. That's why we have gotten nothing done around here lately!) The movie is coming out on March 23rd, too! From the looks of the pictures, they have done a great a job keeping true to the book.

So, if you're a reader or not, I highly recommend The Hunger Games (but only if you have a couple days to spare). This is your warning: YOU WILL GET SUCKED IN!

Even my husband, who is not a huge reader, can't put it down. He started the book late last night and is sitting next to me now on the couch updating me every fews pages on what's unfolding. He'll be finished within the hour. Then, I'm sure he'll be on to the second one, Catching Fire. He actually just commented that this book will be the first he has ever read in a day (and it's almost 400 pages long).

This trilogy is without a doubt one of the best I have ever read. (And yes, I read all of the Twilight saga, and I stood in line for all the Harry Potter books on the night of their release.)

This is different. It's unexpected, creative, slightly scary, and purely addictive.

I've got to go. The third book is calling my name.

.....day 137 of a year of writing.....

The Help

An excerpt from The Help 

"We need to decide on a title," I say and rub my temples. "I've been working on a few.  I think we should call it Colored Domestics and the Southern Families for Which They Work."

"Say what?" Minny says, looking at me for the first time.

"That's the best way to describe it, don't you think?" I say.

"If you got a corncob up your butt."

"This isn't fiction, Minny. It's sociology. It has to sound exact."

"But that doesn't mean it have to sound boring," Minny says.

"Aibileen," I sigh, hoping we can resolve this tonight. "What do you think?"

Aibileen shrugs and I can see already, she's putting on her peace-making smile. It seems she has to smooth things over every time Minny and I are in the same room. "That's a good title. A course you gone get tired a typing all that on top a ever page," she says.  I'd told her this is how it has to be done. 

"Well, we could shorten it a little....." I say and pull out my pencil. 

Aibileen scratches her nose, says, "What you think about just calling it...Help?"

"Help," Minny repeats, like she's never heard of the word. 

"Help," I say. 

Aibileen shrugs, looks down shyly, like she's a little embarrassed. "I ain't trying to take over your idea I just...I like to keep things simple, you know?"

"I guess Help sounds alright to me," Minny says and crosses her arms. 

"I like...Help," I say, because I really do. I add, "I think we'll still have to put the description underneath, so the category's clear, but I think that's a good title." 

"Good is right," Minny says. "Cause if this thing gets printed, Lord knows we gone need some." 

I usually try not to read what everyone else is reading...it's really just me being stubborn. Everyone has been reading it, and everyone has been raving about the movie, so I finally gave in and bought it!

The Help by Kathryn Stockett is a beautiful story of the lives of three women living in Jackson, Mississippi, in 1962. Two of them, Aibileen and Minny, are black maids, and Skeeter is a young aspiring writer who loved the maid who raised her like a mother.

Skeeter and Aibileen cross paths thanks to a writing column that Skeeter secures at the local newspaper that focuses on the secrets to keeping a house clean (which Skeeter knows nothing about). Skeeter begins interviewing Aibileen in search of the answers to her readers' questions, and a life changing bond forms.

What started as an idea to tell their story, became a book that moved the city of Jackson. You'll fall in love with Aibileen's adoration for Mae Mobley, the white baby she cares for, and you'll laugh at Minny's big mouth that often gets her into lots of trouble.

Skeeter's heart to change things will make you want to make a revolution of your own. She's not afraid to stand up for what she believes in her heart to be true about the black women of Mississippi.

You won't be able to stop reading it until the last page and then you'll wish there were more.

And Aibileen's beautiful words will be stuck in your heart when you're done,

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." 

You'll love it. I know you will.

.....day 47 of a year of writing..... 

Another Place at the Table

This past week I flew through the pages of the book Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison. It's a book that has stared at me from my bookshelf for a couple years now basically because I knew I didn't want to know the truth behind it's cover.

It's a true story about Kathy and her husband Bruce who have fostered close to 100 children over the past 20 years. It is brutally honest. There are no attempts to sugarcoat foster care, but the stories you'll hear will change you.

The heart of this woman beats for children who need love, and she has given her all to countless children (a few of which she now calls her own).

Regardless of whether or not you have any desire to be a foster parent, this is really a must read! I don't say that about many books. I could not put it down. The stories of these children who made their way through the Harrison's home will make you want to kiss your momma in gratefulness.

You will cry, you will hurt, and you will wonder how people can ever treat children the way they do. But you will also close the cover of this book knowing that it was written by an angel who was given a desire to love the children that no one else would love.

May you be blessed by its pages. It's beautifully life changing.

If you're interested in purchasing a copy, click here

.....day 25 of a year of writing.....

And don't forget about the Labor Day Giveaway! You have until Thursday to get your name in the drawing to win. For more information, click here.

Disturb us, Lord

About 6 months ago, I was definitely searching for something more. I was happy and things were great, but when I look back at my day to day life, it was not exactly healthy. There were days I felt overwhelmed. There were days I felt like I could never catch up.

I still have days like that, but they are few and far between. And I have to credit a lot of it to my growing relationship with Christ and my experience with Chazown. Chazown is the Hebrew word for dream, revelation, or vision and the title of Craig Groeschel's book based on seeking God's vision for your life.

I had the opportunity to go through a 3 session workshop based around the book that helped me find a greater purpose for my life. It was honestly one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have ever done. And I know for a fact that the devil did not want me there, and now I can see why. Keep on reading....

Chazown is the reason I started a bible study, the reason I made a point to get the "little" day to day things in my life in order, and the reason I started this blog. At the end of the session I had a purpose statement that still remains the same:

"To continuously seek knowledge and understanding so that I can lead other women to find intentional balance and peace in day to day life while giving generously and living with authenticity and humility."

Maybe you can see where the title of my blog came from. Now, it took a long time to get that out on paper, and it has begun to mean so many more things in my life than just a bible study and a blog. The night I wrote that I had no idea a bible study or a blog would be involved in living out my Chazown, but they've become huge parts of it.

Speaking of bible study, we are now working through the Chazown experience with 18 other women who are all seeking the vision God has for their lives.

Today while Addy was playing outside and Luke was napping, I picked up my Chazown book and started to re-read it from the beginning. Here are just a few of the things that I thought some of you would like to hear from the book:

Everyone ends up somewhere, but few people end up somewhere on purpose. 

When you start to be really honest with yourself, many of us would say that we maybe had some sort of plan for our lives, but the reality is that most of us are just trying to survive the day to day. We're not heading any place in particular on purpose. We're just trying to make it by. 

But so many of us never seek God's will for our lives. We're perfectly happy coming up with our own plan and attempting to follow it, never acknowledging that God had a purpose in mind for us from the beginning. Craig points out that "the Bible makes it clear that we were designed from the start to live for a unique reason....In Psalm 139:13-16, David wrote,

You created my inmost beings; 

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me 

were written in your book 

before one of them came to be. 

He knew what He wanted your life to be like...and He invites us to seek Him in order to learn what His perfect plan is for our lives." 

I don't believe that God sent His son to die on a cross for us so that we could "just make it by." So many of us are burdened by our everyday lives, by our jobs, by the tasks at hand that need to be done. He didn't wonderfully make us so that we could just survive. He wanted us to thrive. 

Craig points out that if you are burdened by any part of your life, then you're not living in the vision God created for your life. We should all live excited about what the day holds, and ready to step out in faith towards the next thing He has planned for us. We were all created for more than the anticipation of 5 o'clock.

Chazown has helped me to fully understand that I was uniquely created to do something here on this Earth that only I can do. You were uniquely designed for something only you can do....only you.

So the question becomes, are you doing it? Or are you just wandering through life, taking one step after the other, but having no clue whether you're going in the right direction or not? Even if you're content and happy, I would bet that you're not exactly sure what your purpose is; what the big dream for your life looks like. 

I love this...straight from page 15 of Chazown:

"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little, when we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord."  Sir Francis Drake

"Are you willing to let God disturb you with dreams so big that you don't know how they'll be accomplished? A vision that can only come true if He pulls it off?

That's what you'll get if you come on this journey. If you seek God's unique life purpose for you. 

I won't promise the road will be smooth. But I do promise you can start today living with a vision for fulfillment. You will wake up every day with purpose and passion, motivated anew to fulfill your destiny. 

No more wandering. No more emptiness. No more searching. 

You will day, "This is why I was created. This is the meaning for my existence."

And God will smile." 

Just wanted you to know what I was thinking about tonight. Just wanted you to know that there is a way to be so much more than you ever planned to be. Just wanted you to have a place to search for the truth. 

Know that with God, there is always more for you than you ever imagined, but you have to seek Him. 

May God disturb you.

Find free resources online at http://chazown.com/ or Buy your copy of the book on Amazon

Tonight with tears of plenty

So tonight I write from behind tear filled eyes as woman who is constantly being changed by a God of grace.  

I have not sobbed in a long, long time. Not like this. A very dear friend of mine recently bought me a book titled I Will Carry You. I have let it sit on a shelf in my kitchen for weeks. She was prompted to buy it for me after a rather emotion filled night at bible study. I was mad and confused and really angry at God about a little girl named Ellie Kate. My continuously growing faith all started with this precious little girl and her momma.

Ellie Kate is the most beautiful 5 year old I have ever seen. She has a very rare and very serious condition called NKH which stands for Nonketotic Hyperglycinemia. Although Ellie Kate is 5 years old, she cannot eat by mouth, she doesn't speak, she doesn't walk as a 5 year old would, and she has the neurological development equivalent to that of a 6-8 month old baby. You can read more about NKH at http://www.nkh-network.org/

When I first became associated with the McLaughlins, my faith went through a complete whirlwind. At first I didn't understand why our God would allow this family and this little girl to live this way. I looked at her mom, Ryan Elizabeth, in complete astonishment. Her faith was unwavering. She doesn't question our God despite the fact that her little girl isn't healthy. 


And honestly, getting to know the McLaughlins made me question my faith. I have always been one to steer clear of pain and suffering of any kind. I know it exists, but I don't want to have to worry my heart about it. But I couldn't get away from the McLaughlins and Ellie Kate. I couldn't stop thinking about them. 


The more I questioned my God and the more I doubted Him, the more things became clear to me. One thing I know for certain is that none of us where made for this world. It's just more obvious that some are more uncomfortable here than others. We were all wonderfully made in His hands. 


We were never intended to understand our God fully. If we completely understood Him, it would not be considered faith to believe in Him, but He does want us to come to understand that He works in all things. 


Tonight as I picked up the book that has summoned me for weeks, I was overcome with tears of both sorrow, joy, pain, hope, faith, and peace for a mother who carried a baby that she knew would never live in this world. Through all my tears, and all the doubt, there is this woman on the other side of the words who lived it and is speaking truth to the world about a God who saves.

I cannot attempt to tell you all the beautiful things in this book. You will cry, you will laugh, and you will be brought to a place of understanding that you'll be thankful you didn't have to walk alone. 

   

Buy it; read it, and know that God is who He says He is, and He can do what He says He can do.  And rejoice in your children who will continue to teach you about a life that only comes from salvation in our Lord Jesus Christ.

To read more about Angie Smith go to: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
To read more about what the McLaughlins are doing to help others, go to: http://okchopelink.synthasite.com/