Being Brave: Hello 2014

With a ten second countdown, a year is gone just like that. And here we are in 2014.

January 1st seemed like an appropriate time for me to come out of my non-writing funk and join you back here. It just seems necessary. Plus, after having not written for so long now, the thoughts in my head are nearing the fireworks explosion level anyways.

What a year it was. What a month it was really. A wild and crazy, joy filled, grief filled, month.

We started the month of December by spending a magical 7 days in Orlando at the House of Mouse. While our fellow Oklahomans were stuck in negative temperatures and the ice/snow storm of the century, we were swimming every night at the hotel and slathering on sunscreen before hitting the Magic Kingdom.

We even talked about extending our stay for a couple days. The weather was just so nice and we were loving every minute, but we decided we would all be ready to be home after 7 days away.

We came home as originally planned, and the very next day, my grandfather passed away unexpectedly while walking into his friend's home to play cards.

It came as a shock to all of us, and life was suddenly turned upside again. I unpacked suitcases full of swimsuits and Disney souvenirs and immediately repacked for a trip to my mom's house. We didn't know how long we were going to stay. It didn't matter. I repacked as best I could, found another house sitter, and away we went again.

We spent the next week and a half back and forth between our house and my mom's house as we made preparations for my grandpas' funeral, and before we knew it, it was all over, we were home, and it was December 20th. Christmas was here.

It just didn't feel like Christmas. It felt different and rushed and unexpected.

But it didn't feel bad.

On December 20th (the day before my 30th birthday), when I would usually be preparing for a day of baking and movie watching and Christmas song singing, I was completely unprepared for Christmas. We did not have a single present wrapped. Nothing baked. No shopping done for food on Christmas day.

We would leave again to begin the Christmas festivities on December 23rd. Our house was beginning to feel like a hotel.

But as I prepared for the days of Christmas celebrations ahead, in the middle of the chaos and unplanned events of the month, all I could find was peace. My grandfather in heaven, Ellie Kate in heaven for a year, my family together for days on end. There was so much laughter and love and Jesus, and whether the presents get wrapped just so, or the goodies get baked or not, Christmas is not about those things. Christmas is about love and laughter, family and Jesus and nothing else.

So this month, I have learned to trust the Lord. I have trusted him for a long time, really, but this month I learned to trust his timing and his perfect plan. I would much rather have things go according to my plan, but that's not the way the world turns. To trust his sovereignty is what I want to do. I want to know in my soul that no matter what, I trust him....for the small things, the big things, the most important things and the seemingly insignificant things. I want to trust him Him in all of it.

Until today, I was protesting the "word of the year" thing mostly because I forgot what mine was in 2013, so I don't think it was super effective for me. But today that word, Trust, would not leave my mind. Just trust me. Don't worry so much about being better and doing better and trying harder. Just do what I ask you to do, and trust me.

So I will. And I'm officially making my word of 2014 trust. There, now I can be in the cool kids club.

Praying that your 2014 is one filled with trust too.