9 years ago tonight

I don't remember what I was thinking about. Maybe I have a few thoughts scribbled in a journal somewhere. I'm sure I was nervous and excited. 

I'm pretty sure that I wasn't thinking about what I would be doing tonight. Nine years ago tonight was the eve of my wedding day. 

I was only 20 years old. I'm sure there were many people who said I was too young. That we were too young. And that we were both too stubborn for it ever to work out. And I say, thank God we're both so headstrong and stubborn. It has shaped us and everything we stand for. 

But I was sure. I had no doubts. No questions. No anxieties about marrying this man. 

Tonight, that man is driving our now family of 5 from Colorado to Oklahoma all night long so everyone can sleep. 

We just spent a week in the mountains slowing down and enjoying our babies. 

Before you get married, you dream of the family you'll create and all the adventures you'll have together with this man of your dreams. 

I was no different. 

But I never could have written the screenplay for what the past 9 years have looked like for us. 

There have been highs and lows and everything in between. There was even a time that I would say I wasn't happy and neither was he but it was a short lived time in our marriage. 

We have been through so much together. From debt to the blessing of babies in our home, we have experienced it all. 

But I couldn't even have imagined that it would be this good, this fulfilling, this challenging, and this beautiful. 

As I turn to check on my sleeping babies behind us in this cram packed expedition, I can't help but be so grateful to the man I married 9 years ago for everything he has given to and for our family. 

He has given his time freely. He has given his resources without thinking twice. He has given us his whole heart. And as cliche as it sounds, I am more in love with him now than I was 9 years ago on the night before we said I do. 

I don't know a better man. He is strong and faith filled. Plus he's mega sexy and can cook better than any woman I know. And he believes in me and stands behind me and challenges me, and he has made be a better person. 

So I don't know what I was thinking about 9 years ago tonight, but I bet I never imagined that this is how I would feel about him all these years later. 

So babe, I know you got me some amazing anniversary gift, and so far, I still have nothing, because how do you say thank you for the past 9 years? How do I show you how grateful I am for you with a gift? I know you need some new boots, and since the nine year gift is leather, I'm seriously considering it, but leather boots will never be able to express to you how crazy I am about you still. 

Still crazy about you. 

Still madly in love. 

Still loving you to the beach and back every single day. 

On the eve of our anniversary, I still love you, more now than I ever did.