So, the Lord is definitely working on me. We have spent the last five days cleaning up puke in our house. Literally, every day for the past five days, there has been some form of throw up in our house.

Ironically, puke is the one thing that used to scare the heck out of me. Not the puke itself, but the idea of someone being sick used to scare me.

It all started with a rather traumatic experience when we brought Luke home from the hospital as a baby.
The day after we brought him home, Addison starting puking. It was her second birthday and the first time she had ever had a stomach virus.

She only wanted me, of course, but I was nursing Luke every 2 1/2 hours, and did not want to get a three day old baby sick.

Addy cried and cried for me. I would nurse Luke, change shirts, and go snuggle with her. And then change shirts again, wash up as best I could, and go nurse again.

I was hormonal, exhausted, and felt defeated.

Oh, and I forgot to mention how it started! The very first time I was ever left alone with both my children (Brian ran to the pharmacy or something), Addison woke up from her nap and started throwing up......that's slightly traumatic for a new momma.

Ever since then I've had a fear of my kids getting sick and me not being able to take care of them. I know that's silly and completely illogical, but it was real to me.

I would literally listen so very closely to the baby monitors while my kids were taking naps, because I was worried that one of them would start puking. I know, it's not logical.

Eventually I started drinking a glass of wine every night to calm my nerves. You can read more about that journey here.

Over the last three years, I have definitely become a different person. I have been saved by grace and captivated by my Savior. There is no doubt about that.

And since then, He has slowly begun to work on my fear. I have come to know that I can only find peace in Him, and my fear has begun to subside almost to the point of no existence.

And honestly after this week, I feel like I can take on anything.

It all started Friday night (the night before I was supposed to speak to 1,800 people at a Scentsy event) when my two year old puked in my bed. Brian was out of town, and thankfully my mom was here, and believe it or not, I survived.

Saturday night, in due fashion, Addison decided to puke in my bed, and she didn't stop puking until Monday morning at 10:00 a.m. Thankfully, my mom and Brian were both here. Good thing, since Addison puked all night and all day.

And then, just when I thought we were done with all the puke, Luke puked in the truck while we were on our way to gymnastics tonight. And it was the worst one yet. It was disgusting.

Addison immediately started crying and saying that she wanted out of the car, and I couldn't find a place to pull over fast enough.

I had to strip Luke down to his diaper and socks when we got to gymnastics, and then he had to ride home in Addy's car seat. (She stayed for gymnastics, he did not.) He does not like riding in a girlie car seat (just for the record).

I won't give you all the details of cleaning out a car seat full of puke, but I will tell you it was the nastiest thing I have ever done!

But strangely enough, after it's all said and done, I feel like I can take on any puke situation that comes my way.

I've learned through all this.

I've learned that I can do it, and that it's not that big of a deal. It's not fun by any means, but I feel like I've been given numerous throw up situations simply to prove to myself that I can overcome them.

It's almost like God took my worst fears, made them reality, and said, "And then what?"

There's always a next step. There is always a way to push through. Sometimes it has to be step by step.

Somebody pukes, "And then what?"

Well, I guess you clean it up, get lots of snuggles in, and grab a bowl and a towel in case it happens again.

Go ahead.....hand me my fear on a puke covered platter. I'm game. And I'm stronger now.

.....day 172 of a year of writing.....

When I've Got Nothing

When I come here with nothing in particular to write, I guess that means you're going to get whatever is on my heart. We'll see what comes of this.....

Let's talk about pride. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm full of it.

When I watch my presentation from Saturday's Spring Sprint, I have to admit that I think it's pretty good....one of the better (if not best) I've ever presented on stage.

But, I have found myself taking all the credit for it. Thanking everyone who said it was great. Showing it to anyone who will watch it.

And today it hit me - what an idiot I am.

Here's the thing....I want people to see it. It has an incredible message. One that I believe in with everything I am. I know this business is one that has the power to bless. It seeps with opportunity.

But, I don't think that's why I was spreading it around. I wanted people to tell me how great I was. I wanted the credit for what I said.

What an idiot I am sometimes.

How does that happen? How do you get to a place where you want all the attention and credit for everything?

I love to be on stage. Really, I love it. But I don't doubt for a second that unless I can get off my power trip, the Lord will take away every possible opportunity for me to speak in the future.

I'm just kind of feeling like an idiot.

Why would I ever try to take credit for something I never did in the first place?

He gave me peace. He gave me the experiences. He gave me the words and the passion. Why on earth did I make it about myself?

I guess sometimes we all just want a little pat on the back. I was getting that, but apparently I just wanted a little more.

If I don't get over that desire to be acknowledged, He'll never take me where He's said He will.

After writing all that, I don't really want to post this. But I told you I would be honest and authentic.
There you have it. That's what's on my heart.

That's all you get tonight.

Signing off humbled, learning, and embarrassed tonight.....and learning a little more about me everyday......

.....day 171 of a year of writing.....

Planning for Valentine's Day Fun

After spending twenty-four hours in bed with my sweet girl, she is finally feeling better, and we are both planning for some fun things we can do together over the coming weeks as we await Valentine's Day!

Here she is staying up late with Mom and Dad and finally feeling like herself.

We've been playing on Pinterest picking out a few projects to add to our list.

Really! I think we could do this all night! Now we've got to snuggle up and get some zzzzzz's. We've got some Valentine's Day decorating to do tomorrow! We love to dream. What are you doing for Valentine's Day?

.....day 170 of a year of writing.....

What I Did Today

I was honored and humbled to be able to speak to 1,800 of Scentsy's consultants today about the Blessing of Recruiting.

So without further ado, here is what I have learned from a lot of other people.  Enjoy.

.....day 169 of a year of writing.....

(More videos to come tomorrow night from Jana Holcomb and Jacquelyn Roy)

Go Ahead....Break My Heart

Today has been one of peace. An abnormal calm has surrounded my heart. I've spent the past couple of days searching for the right words to say, the right stories to tell tomorrow when I speak at Scentsy's Spring Sprint, and today I'm good with what I've landed on.

So, I spent the day doing the little things...answering emails, returning phone calls, placing orders, chasing Luke around the house until we were both so exhausted with laughter that we just wanted to collapse. Those great and normal things.

And then once my little man finally dozed off for the afternoon, I sat down to dig into God's Word. I've been hungry for it lately. Craving more of it. It's like I have discovered a tiny speck of gold, and I can't stop digging until I've found it all.

So, I was thrilled to have the time to meet Him in His Word. I'm currently working through one of Beth Moore's studies on my own just for sheer knowledge. This particular study is over the book of Esther which I have fallen in love with over the past week. It's so full of drama and lavish parties and betrayal. I can hardly stand it! It's juicy, to say the least.

And today I finished the first week of the study and sat down to listen to her teach the second session. As Beth introduces Esther, she talks about how important it is to understand that Esther lost both her mother and father at an early age. She goes on to talk about how she thought for a long time that there could be nothing worse than losing a child, until she attended the funeral of a friend with four little girls in the front row watching their momma be buried.

What would it be like to not have a momma?

I know that many of you may very well know what that feels like....to grow up without a momma. I am lucky enough to have been raised with a momma who did it all.

I think about what that means....to be a momma. To get up twenty-three times in the middle of the night to comfort a baby. To clean up puke. To discipline. To snuggle. To laugh. To cry. To yearn for nothing more than for your children to fall in love with the Lord. To feed them, clothe them, love them unconditionally.

And in the middle of me pondering what it must have been like for Esther to grow up without a momma or a daddy, Luke started to stir.

And I ended up on the couch holding him, just being still. Snuggling. It's in those times when I am reminded of the way my Savior loves me.....more than I love my own children. I can't wrap my head around it sometimes.

And while holding my sweet boy in my arms, the Lord reminded me of the babies whose mommas can't take care of them or choose not to. He reminded me that He's calling me to be a momma to babies who don't have one for a moment. And it suddenly hit me with a whirlwind of understanding. That's a big thing to ask of someone.

And my heart broke. You know that song that says, "Break my heart for what breaks yours." I suddenly had a broken heart. There are babies who just need someone to be a momma for them. A tall order, but a vital role that someone has to play.

And the tears began to fall from my eyes. Not sobbing tears, just tears of peace and understanding. He suddenly revealed what He has asked us to do. The task at hand was suddenly so real. Love them like a momma would love them. It's what they need. To be loved with the love only a momma can give.

Maybe He needed me to really understand this first. There are things that only a momma can bring, and while I won't be the true momma to any baby He brings into our home, I can love any baby like a mom would for however long He'll let me.

Go ahead, Lord.......break my heart. I get it. I'm going there with you. Thank you for your understanding and love today.

.....day 168 of a year of writing.....

Opportunity

My mind's abuzz with opportunity. That word is just so full of potential.

I've been working and re-working my speech for Oklahoma's Spring Sprint Training event being held this Saturday. I was asked to speak, and I'm excited. I love any opportunity to be on stage, but I've re-worked my speech about six times in the past three days.

The original powerpoint is pretty much gone. I've cut out things, added stories, and tried my best to keep it at ten minutes (which is how long they gave us to speak).

But I have pretty much concluded that it's going to be over by a bit....I just can't cut anymore!

My biggest goal is for everyone to have some practical piece of advice they take away from what I have to say. The problem is I probably have too much to say! : )

There is just so much opportunity within Scentsy. I want everyone to know not only what they can offer a potential recruit, but also the potential they already hold in their hands as current consultants.

I'm excited. I love to be on stage. I really do, and that's all thanks to Scentsy. I just hope what I have to say is beneficial.

For some reason, I care more this time than any other time before. We're planning on filming the presentation, and hopefully you'll see it here!

Sorry if this is all rambling, my mind is tied up.

Looking forward to this weekend.....

.....day 167 of a year of writing.....

Our First House

Of course, we bought more house then we could buy before we could afford it, but man, if those walls could talk!

Our marriage began in this house. Both our babies came home to this house. We laughed, we loved, we cried.

I hosted my first Scentsy party here (which I will never forget!). I hosted my first team meeting here. There came a day when we had so many chairs in that giant living and dining room that you couldn't get in the front door.

Dreams were born here.

I will never forget the night I promoted to SuperStar Director (October 31, 2008). I sat in that corner chair in the living room and cried and cried. It felt like the beginning of something new for us. (And I had no idea!)

This house held us for five years. It was home.

And it was bittersweet when we moved. There were so many memories. Our many late nights on the back porch. Our many late nights in the dining room playing cards and board games.

All of the family members who called it home at one time (three of our sisters!), surprisingly still love us!

And I can't forget this table....where Addy ate her first solid food. Where I set the table for dinner night after night. Where I signed up for Scentsy after hours of research.

But after all that, it's time to move on. It's time to sell this house. I know its walls will be ready to take in the stories of a new family.

If you know of anyone in the OKC area looking for a home, please pass along our listing. Check out the link below to see the most recent pictures and all the specifics.

Click here to see all the pictures and the listing details

.....day 166 of a year of writing.....

What Makes a House a Home?

Walking through it almost seems intrusive. Like you're invading on someone's past. The walls have stories. The house was at one time a home.

Tonight we walked through the remains of someone's life. We walked through a recently (and not yet completely) vacated house. It's on ten acres with a barn, and it backs up to a very large pond complete with geese and a dock. Dreamy.....

But, as we walked through the house and I opened cabinets and glanced at pictures, I couldn't help but think of how many stories lie within its walls.

What is it that makes a house a home?

It's definitely not the brick and mortar. Not the sheetrock or the wallpaper (which would definitely have to come down in this house!). It's not even the size or the furniture left inside.

It's the stories. The life that is lived inside.

Home is such an interesting term. Always temporary on this earth, yet it feels like home will always be home.

When we walked into our home tonight, I thought to myself how hard it would be to walk away from the walls that watched me change......to walk away from the brick that protected me when I broke.

I don't know where God will allow us to land. I asked for His word as we walked through the potential house tonight. "Just tell me where you want us to be. Do not let my desires get in the way of your will."

I want anywhere we go and anything we do to be because He calls us to it.

This new house search started after our fast when I began to know that He wanted us closer to our church and closer to our church family.

So the hunt has begun.

I'm scared, nervous, excited, and ready to ride whatever adventure the Lord will take us on.

After we walked through the house and I tried to imagine what it would look like with my family in it, Luke and I walked down to the pond. A long walk with a stick in hand. He was at peace.

And unsurprisingly, so was I. Away from the hustle and bustle. Closer to God's beauty.....we walked to the pond. Holding hands. Simply being.

And as we began to walk back toward the house, it started to rain ever so slightly. And he looked up at me and smiled...."It's raining momma." And he laughed.

"It is raining baby.....let's run!"

And we ran. Laughing all the way.

As the rain started to pelt down harder, his squeals only became louder. He was thrilled to have the water soaking him. I picked him up and we really started to run, as he squealed in delight at our game.

It was a moment of peace. A moment of bliss.

I don't know that this house is "the one." Only time will tell. And we won't make a move until we know it's what God has in store for us.

But it is fun to dream....to imagine what our life would look like there as our stories begin to fill the walls and it once again changed from a house to a home.

Who knows...I guess time will tell.

.....day 165 of a year of writing.....

I Want to Save Someone Like That....

He was sitting in a chariot. And the Lord told Philip to stop and go near him.

There in the chariot was an Ethiopian reading from the prophecy of Isaiah.

And Philip asked him if he understood what He was reading.

He did not. So Philip jumped into the chariot to explain to him what he was reading. To show him the truth.

32 The passage he was reading was this: As a sheep led to slaughter, and quiet as a lamb being sheared, He was silent, saying nothing.33 He was mocked and put down, never got a fair trial. But who now can count his kin since he's been taken from the earth?

And Philip told of a man who came to this Earth while we were still sinners to sacrifice His sinless body for our eternal life. And though not one of us deserves it, we have been saved by grace and grace alone. 

Jesus Christ came to this earth as a man who knew no sin. And any of us who cries out to Him and acknowledges that His is the Son of God, will be saved. 

Down the road, Philip and the Ethiopian came across a body of water and the Ethiopian decided that he wanted to be baptized then and there. 

I want to save someone like that. 

And I think we're all called to save others like that. All the Ethiopian needed was someone to explain the text to him. He needed someone to make it simple for him, to allow him to understand and see God's glory. 

I want to save someone like that. 

I don't personally know all of you. I don't know where you've been or what you believe, but let me clear the air about what I believe. (Just in case that wasn't clear.)

I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. 

Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5:5

I believe that He came to this earth so that we could be saved by grace. 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—9 not by works, so that no one can boast.10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:9-10

I believe that we are called to love the Lord our God with all our hearts. 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' Mark 12:30 

I believe that when we seek Him, we will find Him. 

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. Deuteronomy 4:29

I believe that He is the King of King and the Lord of Lords. 

On His robe and on His thigh he has this name written:
King of kings and Lord of lords. Revelation 19:16

And I know that all He wants is for you to love Him. 

To love Him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices. Mark 12:33

When you call on Him and submit to His authority over your life, you are instantly given the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are all available to you, no matter who you are, no matter what you have done. He does not care about your past or even your present. He cares about your heart. He cares about your faith. He wants you to love Him. 

He has been seeking you all this time. Did you know it? Turn to Him. Acknowledge Him. Love Him the way He loves you. 

If you have never asked the Lord to come into your life and save you for eternity, maybe today is the day. I would like to bet that today is absolutely the day. 

If you acknowledge His name before men, He will acknowledge your name before the angels in heaven. 

Because he loves Me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My Name. Psalm 91:14

Have you ever asked Him to be the Lord of your life? He already is. He is the Lord of the universe! But He wants you to invite Him in to your hearts.

It's simple. Pray the prayer below and ask Him into your life, and watch your life be forever changed by a God who wants a relationship with you.  

Father, I need You. I am a sinner, in desperate need of a Savior. Come into my heart. Cleanse me. Forgive me of my sins. Make me brand new. I promise to follow You all the days of my life. From this day forward, I acknowledge that You are the leader and Lord of my life. Thank You for grace. Thank You for forgiveness.  In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. 

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

I want to save someone like that......

....day 164 of a year of writing.....

Still Waiting

It sits there waiting. There is no one to curl up in it at night. At least not anyone in this house.

A rocking chair by its side ready to comfort and calm. But still there is no one.

Over the past month or so, I have let doubt fill my head.....
It would be so much easier to just get pregnant. We've never had any trouble. That would be the easy answer, I think.

But I don't have peace about it. I'm not saying I won't ever be pregnant again, but right now, there is something different we're supposed to do.

Tonight I found out that one of my friends, who is already a foster parent, is taking in another baby (one who weighs only three pounds!) because the shelter is literally overflowing with kids, and she already has a baby.

And I'm mad.

And I'm irritated, and I'm extremely annoyed.

Seriously?!

I don't know what the point of our expedited training class was?! We still are not even official.

Brian's fingerprints came back a week before Christmas. He had them digitally done the second time hoping that they wouldn't come back again, but we're still waiting.

And as I type my frustration, I know deep inside me that God's timing with all of this is perfect. He has a plan specifically in place for us. I know that. I do.

I am just frustrated. I am ready and willing to help, and we're crawling through the legality of it all when babies are sleeping in an overfilled shelter. I have a problem with that.

I feel like I'm always on the edge of my seat. Just waiting for something....really for someone to show up.

Part of me still thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do this, but I know without a doubt that the Lord has asked me to, and I know that He will make it all work according to His plan. I know it.

So I guess, all I can do is wait, and trust in Him and His perfect plan, and know that one day I'll look back at all this waiting and understand why He made us wait. It will all make perfect sense eventually.

.....day 163 of a year of writing.....

Consistency in the Things That Matter

Here comes another business post. This post comes from a question I get all the time at Scentsy events.

If you had to contribute your success as a Scentsy consultant to one thing, what would it be? 

That's easy. Consistency.

I love this quote because it is just plain and simple truth! There really is nothing glamorous about the "work" that goes into direct sales. It's a matter of doing the same small things over and over and over again month after month after month.

So what are those small things?

Well, you have to have a focus on sales and you have to have a focus on recruiting. You can't build a successful business if either of those things are missing.

That means you have to consistently be meeting new people, finding new markets, stepping outside of your comfort zone! Gasp! I know, I said it. But it's true. You will not make it in direct sales if you are not willing to step outside of what you consider to be normal to reach for something a little uncomfortable where someone might tell you "no."

But you can do it.

Every month, you have to have parties booked (either basket or home), fairs or shows booked, or you have to do some great marketing to your existing customers to get sales.

And then you have to find other people to do this with you. Every single month. Over and over and over again.

You can't let your focus become unclear. You have to continue to press on. No matter how many people tell you no. No matter how many people think you're crazy. You have to stay focused on what matters.

The things that matter in direct sales are recruiting and sales. You have to have them both. You have to do them both. And you have to do it over and over again. Consistently.

It's not a big thing, but it's the truth. I'm not great at sales or recruiting, but I am consistent. And consistency has worked for me......

.....day 162 of a year of writing.....